Phoenix Rising.... No, Falling!

Yesterday afternoon I took the family up to Moray Playhouse to watch Harry Potter and the Order Of the Phoenix. I was certain that this time it would be semi-worthwhile viewing, given that the previous films were severely disappointing and tended to follow the same plot each time, ie: Harry has a run in with his relatives, Harry goes to Hogwarts, wanders around a bit, there are some new teachers, Hagrid takes the kids into the woods to show them something. Then, they break for Christmas, Harry gets fed up, then its back to Hogwarts again, Voldemort appears, Harry accidentally saves the day, and its back on the Hogwarts Express!

So, how did the new film compare. Well this is a quick rundown on the plot:

Harry has a run in with his relatives, Harry goes to Hogwarts, wanders around a bit, there are some new teachers, Hagrid takes the kids into the woods to show them something. Then, they break for Christmas, Harry gets fed up, then its back to Hogwarts again, Voldemort appears, Harry accidentally saves the day, and its back on the Hogwarts Express!

Does that seem slighly familiar? Don't get to excited if you're a fan, because at least with the previous films there was a vague sense of direction. With this one, there was a complete lack of structure, the whole film seem disjointed and it just left me empty. Promotional trailers led me to believe that there would be massive battles, but in reality there was only a rather brief skirmish in which it wasn't at all clear what was happening, only Sirius Black seemed to die, except I don't think he did!

Would I recommend this film? Absolutley not! It clearly demonstrates just how poor film-making is today. I really think the proper art of film-making died in the early 80's. I can't say exactly where they're going wrong, but I suspect that aiming to squash a 900 page book into just over 2 hours screentime, means cutting out crucial plot elements, which is clearly the case with this film. I noticed the same thing with "The Two Towers" when it came out. It just seemed hurried, like they were trying to fit in too much, which they were! Not like the days of films such as Lawrence Of Arabia and Doctor Zhivago. The long drawn out dramatic scene would be a welcome relief nowadays. Even Spielberg with the Indiana Jones films, knew how to structure his films so the plotline was as clear as day. It's time Directors looked back at how it used to be done!

Top 10 Ways To Kiss Mankind Goodbye!

The slightly delayed, but highly anticipated follow-up to the Illuminati wanting to depopulate the World, post. This expands on the possible ways in which human life could be completely extinguished, but should clearly be taken with a pinch of salt, because to my knowledge, none of these are actually imminent!

In order of likelihood, but varying between possible and highly unlikely:

Top 10 ways to end all humankind

1. Pandemic
A lethal virus (man-made?) sweeps the globe destroying all of humanity. Scientists work around the clock to find a vaccine, but the virus is too complex and constantly mutates, it is also resistant to all antibiotics. The victims suffer excruciating deaths, while politicians and wealthy businessmen hide in bunkers to protect themselves, only to find they are already carrying the virus because it's that contagious and lies dormant for several days before demonstrating it's deadly capabilities.

2. Nuclear Holocaust
The Super Powers become caught up in some petty squabble which quickly escalates towards armed conflict. Nuclear strikes are launched in order to effect a rapid conclusion. Retalliatory strikes are also launched and major cities across the globe are reduced to rubble. This does not kill too many, however the radioactive fallout from the explosions will last for several years, poisoning all water supplies, livestock and vegetation. There is nothing to eat or drink and disease is rife. Billions die horribly, but maybe somewhere, some people can make it through!

3. Worlds In Collision
Velikovsky's theories about the frequency of inter-planetary collisions demonstrates itself to be true, to startling effect. A massive comet impacts the Earth at incredible speed. It probably impacts in an ocean, but no matter, the shockwave kills everyone, or if there are any survivors, the 3 year long nuclear winter that follows will finish them.

4. Pole Shift
Every so often we have a reversal in the poles of the planet. North becomes South and vice versa. The effects of this become clear when suddenly it becomes impossible to go outside without your skin turning black fom the lethal rays of the Sun entering the atmosphere. Life inside becomes difficult too and everyone dies, maybe the pole-shift is a bad thing after all.

5. Sun Dies
Suddenly and with little warning the Sun simply expires, burnt out. It gets very cold, very quickly. Not even the cockroaches will survive!

6. Earth sucked into a Black Hole
Oops where did that come from? The scientists never saw it because it was black and space is also black, black on black you see! Without warning every person on Earth sudeenly becomes 50 miles tall and 3mms wide. Don't worry, you won't even feel it!

7. Alien Invasion
Aliens arrive uninvited and start wiping us out because we're an embarassment to intelligent beings everywhere, or alternatively they show up all friendly like the ones in "V" and start shipping us back to their homeworld where their reptilian kinsman can devour us at their leisure, because human flesh is just so damn yummy!

8. Massive Sea-level rise
All the predictions on climate change go out the window as the ice-caps melt instantaneously (a particularly hot summer). The sea-level rises, a lot, and tsunamis obliterate everything. Maybe a couple goat-herds will survive, but without any mates and with just a few goats to eat, their time will also be relatively short.

9. Fabric of Space-Time Continuum torn asunder
Some "boffins" discover the means by which to travel back in time, which they then proceed to do, travelling back millions of years into the past. Unfortunately, one of them decides to pick a flower (a specimen to take back to the lab) and inadvetently kills a newt-like creature, which unfortunately is the sole-ancestor of all mankind. This creates a paradox and it becomes as though we had never been!

10. An act of God
God's had enough! He's not even bothered about saving the animals this time, we've already wiped out millions of species and would eventually finish off the remaining species. Think Sodom and Gomorrah, but on a Global scale.

Lottery Swindle!

For today's post I was planning to write a follow up to yesterday's post on the Illuminati plot to depopulate the planet, by expanding on the possible ways by which human life might cease to exist. Unfortunately, I will have to put this on the back-burner until tomorrow, because last night something inadvertently came to my attention, which I believe needs to be expounded upon herein.

I was washing the dishes (yes, I'm a 21st Century man) and the T.V. was on, although nobody was watching it as far as I'm aware. So, although I couldn't see the telly, I could hear it. The Lottery show was on, something which I would normally avoid like the plague, because it's so cheesy and... it's just awful really! Anyway, it's going on and I catch the presenter saying something very much like;

"Remember, all your money going to the good cause fund will be paying for the Olympic and Paralympic games!"

And, I'm thinking to myself "Did I just hear him correctly?" because he said "all your money". I know the Olympics are going to cost a fortune, but surely the Government should be paying for it. Well, it's obvious really, I'd already heard that the government was using lottery funds to pay for government sponsored projects under the guise of being "good causes", but this takes the biscuit! Firstly, all the good cause money is being channeled into London, when it's supposed to be distributed across the UK, and secondly it's now even more transparent why Richard Branson's Virgin company were turned down the opportunity of running the lottery.

Branson offered to run it for free with even more money going to good causes, but clearly such enterprises are only intended to operate as some sort of gigantic money laundering scam. There's no point coming up with an idea where the public are eager to pour in their cash for virtually no return, if you can't abuse it completely.

A second thing that was said on the show, once again made my thinking travel off on a tangent. The host said;

"I know it's going to be a busy night, but can you give me a time-check please?"

A omnipresent being responds;

"Yes, the time is almost 11 minutes past..." whatever, 8 I think he said.

I thought to myself "Why would they do that? Do they feel the need to demonstrate that the show is live, because in reality it isn't?" It just seemed like such a bizarre thing to do. Surely, if the show is in fact live, they wouldn't feel the need to prove it. Highly suspicious, I'm being to think the whole thing is run by mobsters!

Depopulation To Order!

Caught a little news tidbit this morning about how the Illuminati want to embark upon a program of depopulation (the resurgence of an old idea apparently). Not mainstream news obviously, who looks there anymore. If you want to know what's really going on then you have to Digg for it! However, do the Illuminati really exist, or is it just a term that's bandied around to describe the elite businessmen who really rule the World?

The real questions that need to be asked though, if you are to accept the statement given at face value, are:

• Why depopulate the World?
• Who lives, who dies?
• How seriously are they about depopulating the World? ... and
• What means do they have at their disposal to see through their dastardly plans?

Clearly there are several possible reasons for wanting to see a dramatic reduction in the global population; reducing carbon emissions dramatically, limiting or ceasing the spread of certain diseases, managing food and water stocks more efficiently, but possibly they are motivated by more wicked sentiments, such as racial superiority, intellectual superiority or desire for power and wealth. We all know which reasons are most likely!

It's true that the World's population is constantly increasing and is greater than ever before. In the past War and disease have curbed poulation rise, but now medicine and the nuclear deterrent held by the most powerful nations, have significantly reduced the possibility of either factor coming heavily into play.

So, how could a dramatic depopulation program be unleashed. Well, in all likelihood you wouldn't really know it was orchestrated anyway. The 2 factors I have identified as responsible for depopulation are the primary tools which could be used by evil powermongers to effect it. They could for instance instigate an incident which would draw the super-powers into armed conflict and the possibilty of nuclear strikes. Alternatively, they could unleash a deadly virus, creating a pandemic unlike any ever seen before. This is probably the most likely scenario, as it would be quite easy to make it seem like a natural catastrophe. For instance, if Avian Flu were to mutate to form a human strain, who would think that suspicious? Haven't they been warning us about just such a possibility?

There are some massive pharmecutical companies out there, who could potentially initiate a viral epidemic, with vaccines already in place. Let the epidemic take hold, then reveal that a vaccine is available, but expensive. Sell vaccinations to those who can afford them. Accumulate futher wealth and power, everyone will be so grateful, and who will care about all the poor people who died because they couldn't afford the vaccine. I know I'm sounding positively apocalyptic here and it's not in my nature to see the pessimistic side to anything, but I think I've demonstrated here how easy it would be, and rest assured there are innumerable people out there who would love to see it happen!

False Terror Flags!

You can't help wondering recently why the press and media in general are so ineffective in posing questions which must surely seem in need of answering, certainly from a public standpoint anyhow. Of course, since I was going on holiday, the attack at Glasgow airport definitely warranted cause for concern, but at the same time it occured to me that several things didn't add up. For instance, why were the main doors to the building accesible from the roadway in the first place? Even shopping centres and other buildings of relatively little importance have steel bollards to prevent access to vehicles. Surely they could have seen the potential was there, the attackers did!

Anyway, that's the least disturbing part. When the incident was reported initially, the news stated that US secret services had warned of a possible attack at Glasgow airport 2 weeks previously. Who did they warn exactly? Was it the UK government or UK secret services? Because, airport officials claimed that they certainly weren't told about it! Makes you wonder doesn't it? Nothing better than a terrorist attack to start off the holiday season and a new arrival in office at No.10. Indeed, even with the recent flooding and government failures in handling them, the papers today indicate that Labour have opened up a 8% lead on the Tories. Remarkable!

More Tales From the Veneto!

I may have to retract my previous statement that 50% of Lido de Jesolo was made up of Germans. As my father rightly pointed out, they were probably largely Austrian, especially given the close proximity of Austria to that area of Italy in particular. My father actually went a little further, suggesting that (in his experience) Austrians don't like being identified as Germans, in much the same way as a Scotsman wouldn't want to be identified as English.

Perhaps the strangest thing I saw on holiday, was young kids (say about 4 or 5 yers old) talking to their parents in German. It just doesn't seem natural, such a harsh sounding language being spoken by children. I found it very weird, but that's just a personal opinion, perhaps they would think the same about us.

Anyhow, the picture above is one I took of the entrance to the Gasoline Road Bar in Lido de Jesolo, at the Piazza Mazzini. Clearly a pair of hard-living peanuts! Oh, by the way, some odd stuff! We met with our holiday rep the day after arriving and were informed of the following necessary facts for holiday survival:

• Crossings on Italian roads are merely for show, although sometimes cars will stop, but rarely.
• Speed limits on Italian roads have no significance, they drive at whatever speed they feel like.
• Sudanese guys were selling fake designer handbags on the beach, getting caught handing over money for one could earn you a 1000 Euro fine.
• Littering could earn you a 500 Euro fine.
• Italians all carry ID cards (for security reasons?) and you could be asked to provide ID at anytime.

These were all valid points, and apart from the handbag statement which I wasn't going to try out, I saw all the others clearly demonstrated. They drive like maniacs, and if they see you on the crossing, they actually speed up so as to make you run for it. Like wise I frequently saw speeds of probably 70mph and upwards on a 30mph road. I was also aked for ID several times (completely unnecessarily in my opinion) such as when I changed some currency, and when I asked for a locker at Aqualandia, wtf?

Holiday Snaps!

Here are some photos I took while in Italy... hope you like them!

Venice - Bridge of Sighs

Venice - Somewhere off the beaten path

Cortina - From the top of Mount Faloria

Cortina - Street in Cortina

Verona - The Arena


Verona - Juliet's Balcony

That's all for now!

Holiday Report!

Here is the full holiday report from my exciting adventures in the Italian Veneto and beyond:

Lido di Jesolo

We were staying at the seaside resort of Lido de Jesolo on the Ventian Riviera. About 20km from Venice, with a 15km long golden beach and with temperatures in the 33-35*C region the first week and more like 35-37*C the second week. You can of course imagine my disappointment on returning home to find out that it has been raining almost constantly for the duration of our absence.

The resort itself was very busy, with I'm guessing about 50% German tourists, about 40% local Italians and the rest, pretty much a cross section of Europe and beyond.

Of course though, beaches aren't really my thing, more of a last resort for when there's nothing else to do, so we booked ourselves day trips to Venice, Cortina, Verona and Lake Garda shortly after arriving. I was particularly looking forward to Venice and it didn't disappoint.

Venice

We travelled into Venice by boat from Punta Sabbioni (about 50 mins). Spectacular views of the islands on the way. It was also hot, very hot! We disembarked near the Bridge of Sighs and then arrived in the Piazza di San Marco. A beautiful square with a smaller square off to one corner, but it was very crowded as you'd expect. We went for a little wander for 2 hours down some off the narrow lanes, then had a guided tour (including a quick scoot around the Basilica), followed by the highlight of the entire holiday, the water taxi cruise down the Grand Canal. It was absolutely amazing and "I got it all down on videotape". The Gondola ride was an anti-climax after the water taxi. With some time left we then took the lift up to the top of St. Mark's Tower, from where we had a great view over the whole of Venice.

Had an interesting converation afterwards with our tour guide Alessandro, after I asked him which house on the Grand Canal was the oldest, to which he replied "the Ca' Da Mosta". Anyone keeping up will recall that I mentioned before travelling, the television program "Italy, Head to Toe" fronted by Francesco Da Mosta, which I identified as part of the driving force behind my desire to visit Italy.

I would love to go back to Venice sometime and spend a week or so there just wandering around, preferably off season when it's not so warm or crowded.

Cortina

We visited the Winter resort of Cortina, once again accompanied by Alessandro, stopping along the way at Lago di San Croce (Lake of the Holy Cross). On arrival we headeh straight for the cable car which took us up Mount Faloria. Once again I videoed the experience for posterity. This was followed by a jaunt around the lovely village of Cortina and a short trip further into the Dolomites to visit Lago di Misurina (Lake Misurina). It was of course very hot again, but there was a cool breeze which made it tolerable on this occasion.

Verona

Off to Verona and with a different Tour Guide, Luigi, who like Alessandro, also spoke very good English, and was an absolute mine of information. Verona was hot, 35*C apparently, but I must have been acclimatised by then (or so I thought, see Lake Garda) because it didnt feel too bad. We walked around the outside of the Arena then went to see Juliet's balcony and statue. Yes, I know Juliet is a fictional character, but the Capulets existed and the balcony is part of the house where they once lived. We made a quick visit to the Castle and famous bridge, before heading back to the bus where I had a conversation with Luigi about Umberto Eco, The Name Of the Rose in particular and also Manfredi, as I'd just finished reading "The Tower".

Lake Garda - Sirmione

If Verona was 35*C then I have no idea what the temperature was in Sirmione, because it was killer. First we went on a boat trip around the tip of the peninsula, taking in some wonderful views including the majestic ruins of the oldest Roman villa in Northern Italy, built by the poet Valerio Catulus in the 1st Century B.C. Coincidentally, I had just finished reading Robert Harris's "Imperium" the day previously, in which the Catulus family feature. Serendipitous!

We then climbed to the top of the castle tower before exploring the little village. The heat was intense and sweat was pouring off me. I went to seek some shelter in the shade of a tree and got several mosquito bites on the back of my legs as reward. The only time I was bitten on the whole holiday.

Other

Besides the day trips we also visited several attractions in Lido de Jesolo; A wonderful sand sculpture exhibition based on the Wild West. I forgot to take my camera, but I'll look for links later. We also went to Aqualandia for a day, seemed like fun, but it was just too hot to spend the whole day in the sun. We also went to Pirate Adventure Crazy Golf where we all got burned (did I tell you how hot it was?) All in all we had an excellent time!

Resumption Of Activity!

I'm back, revitalised and ready to go. Did you miss me? Holiday report and photos to follow, once I get my car working again and get some food in the house!

Interruption To Scheduled Blogging!

We are sorry for this interruption to the scheduled blog posting. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible! We regret to inform you that any delay in the resumption of blog activities is unavaoidable, indeed delays should be expected, owing to unfavourable blogging conditions!

What's In A Name?

What's In A Name? I'm going to be referring mainly to Scottish Surnames here, but you might have one of those even though you live in a land far, far away, because what was formerly called the British Empire, was largely created by Scotsmen and Scottish colonists. And, you don't necessarily have to have a Surname beginning with Mc or Mac for it to be Scottish. If you thought that was the case then you have been misled by popular culture.

Scottish Surnames fall into several categories:

• Patronymics - Taken from the fathers forename, for instance, where the father was called Donald, the surname derived from him could be; McDonald, MacDonald, Donaldson or just Donald.
• Occupations - Examples are; Wright (Carpenter), Skinner, Baxter (Female Baker) and the most common of all, Smith (Blacksmith).
• Place Names - Scottish Surnames derived from places near where I live include; Cullen, Fordyce, Keith and Findlater.
• Physical Charcteristics - Primarily hair colours such as Reid, Brown, Gray and Black or the Gaelic: Bowie - Blond or fair-haired and Duff - Black. Names such as Campbell and Cameron are supposed to translate as Crooked Mouth and Crooked Nose.

Of course there are other Scottish Surnames which do not fall into those categories, but in general most do. Also, should you find that you do have a Scottish Surname and particularly one which is fairly common, do not assume that you are therefore related to everyone who shares that Surname, because the same name may have several origins. For instance, my own Surname, Wilson, is believed to be derived from an Earl of Innes named William way back in the 14th or 15th Century. Yet, the name also originated in Caithness with the Clan Gunn, and other instances of the name originate early on in Glasgow, Dundee and also down in England.

My wife also has the rather rare Surname, Maver, the origins and meaning of which are highly questionable, but her family has been in Scotland since at least 1440, and yet the same name is prolific in Ljubljana, the capital of Slovakia, with apparently no connection whatsoever. Very odd!

The Waiting Game!

I'm sure everyone else reading this is just like me, always waiting for something to happen. The expression "I can't wait" suggests more than mere anticipation, it also reflects how uninterested we become in our lives between major events. The lulls are interminable. Whether it's waiting for better weather (this year has been awful, see picture for details), waiting for the holidays or waiting to attend some important event with family or friends. You'd probably just rather skip the time between now and then... yes, you are wishing your life away, and you're definitely not the only one!

Me, I'm waiting to go on holiday to Italy, I'm waiting to go to Uni for Teacher Training, I'm waiting to get out of this God forsaken town. Heh, this reminds me of that Adam Sandler film "Click". I better be careful what I wish for, it's the in-between times that are important. Don't really want to fast-forward my life!

Luckily for me, unlike some, I'm not up to my ears in debt (apart from my student loans, obviously). Some people spend there whole lives waiting for some sort of miraculous event, which will never happen. They think that there luck is going to change, that they'll win the lottery or receive an inheritance, with which all their problems will be sorted. I guess some people do get lucky, but it's not usually people who desperately need it, is it? That sort of waiting I can do without.

The Rise and Fall Of Communism!

Last night, Battlefield with Peter and Dan Snow returned, having been rudely interrupted by I'm not sure what, but it wasn't on the last 2 weeks anyhow. This time around they were casting a wistful gaze over the Tet Offensive, a pivotal point in the Vietnam War. My knowledge of the Vietnam War, I'm afraid to admit, up until this point, extended no further than; M.A.S.H. , Platoon, Hamburger Hill, We Were Soldiers, Good Morning Vietnam, Air America, Casualties Of War, Deer Hunter, Jacob's Ladder and The Killing Fields. All well and good, but films don't give you a very good perspective of events in terms of the broader picture.

So now I know that the US were in Vietnam, supporting the South Vietnamese in order to stem the rise of Communism. The North Vietnamese (NVA), backed by the USSR and China, were the principal enemy, further supported by the Viet Cong (VC's) who would be termed insurgents nowadays. The NVA launched the Tet Offensive, when the South Vietnamese army had been sent home to celebrate the festival of Tet with their families, believing that the festival would mark an unofficial ceasefire.

Parties of VC's, who had been stockpiling munitions and supplies all over South Vietnam for months (via the Ho Chi Minh trail), launched attacks all over South Vietnam and even into Saigon itself, while the US soldiers and airforce were busy fending off a diversionary attack by the NVA at Khe Sanh camp, near the Vietnamese border. Meanwhile the VC's had captured a major part of the US embassy in Saigon, images of which were beamed into US households.

The next major battleground was the city of Hue, where US marines had a major task on their hands in driving out the VC, who had entrenched themselves in the city's ancient citadel. Not until the South Vietnamese authorised the use of artillery and air-strikes, were the VC's reduced to rabble. At this point, the Viet Cong had been fully committed to battle and having been overturned on all fronts, no longer represented a viable fighting force. In the North of the country the US soldiers had also repelled the NVA.

The American Generals thought they were well on their way to victory, but back home things had taken a bad turn. The US public had seen enough footage on TV to convince them that things were going very badly. They'd seen executions and dead US servicemen lying in the street. They gave the President Lyndon B. Johnson no option but finally to withdraw all American forces from Vietnam. Despite the US then training and equipping the South Vietnamese Army, South Vietnam fell to the Communists in 1975.

But, despite the victory of Communism in Vietanam, as we now know, there were other battlegrounds between Democracy and Communism, Afghanistan being one instance. Communism however, ran its course and even China it seems, buoyed by a booming economy, cannot remain a Communist country for much longer. Now the attentions of the West are focused on a new enemy, the invisible force, the terrorist, who has no specific nation or race, and who can pop-up anywhere at any given time. Here is the final irony. In order for Western nations to combat terrorism, our glorious leaders request that we kindly surrender our civil liberties. In doing this, they increasingly use Big Brother tactics not entirely unlike those formerly used by the Communists.

History Is All About Blood!

Terry Pratchett has a point in Hogfather when he says that history is all about blood, don't you think? What's more, that definition can be deduced in several ways;

• History is all about blood-shed
• History is all about bloodlines
• History is all about genetic traits

Which ever way you take it, there is a definite ring of truth. The expression "History goes to the victors!" is one with which I would definitely agree, because it is clear to me that many of our accepted views of historical events are false, precisely because it is the accounts of the victors which we rely on, when events were entirely different to what was actually recorded. For instance, Hitler didn't ensure that accurate records were kept for posterity regarding the genocidal atrocities, which he had ordered. Had he been victorious we might never have known other than in rumour.

Many other historical events follow the pattern whereby there is no external verification of events, such as Tacitus' account of Gnaeus Julius Agricola's defeat of the Picts at the battle of Mons Graupius. Julius Agricola was the father-in-law of Tacitus, so clearly had a vested interest in promoting the achievements of Agricola. It is actually debatable whether the battle even took place, and little evidence to suggest that the Romans managed to cross the River Spey, which presented a formidable barrier, especially if the Picts held the opposite bank. However, Tacitus knew that the Picts could not relate their version of events and so history tells us only what he, Tacitus, had to say.

As far as blood-letting effects history, you might suppose that War can have a positive effect on society because the superior force would win. However, using the First World War as an example, it could be suggested that the War set Britian back hundreds of years, because the majority of its brilliant young minds were needlessly killed. Meanwhile, back on the farm, the half-witted labourers spawned the next generation. A serious setback for the gene pool.

Blood-lines have played a significant part in the history of the UK, for over 1000 years this nation was controlled by an elite, who largely inter-married with each other and held on to titles, vast tracts of land, wealth, and small armies of servants. In this respect, they held what they did by virtue of blood.

How can genetic traits influence the course of history. As an example of how inter-breeding can impact heavily on society, I would highlight the Roman Emperors and the Pharaonic Dynasties. Doubtless, the irrational and often insane behaviour displayed by many of them was a direct consequence of incest. Obviously, I'm focusing on the negative viepoint here, but conversely, a broader gene pool does result in more intelligent offspring. Anyone with a broad spectrum of ancestral origins, I'm sure will quite clearly demonstrate proof of what I'm suggesting!

The Sacred Art Of Keeping A Secret!

Secrecy! Every family has its secrets! They may be dark and sinister, or they might be stupid and pointless like the ones my family have. Over the years I've managed to prise some family info out of my Grandmother which she was sworn to secrecy over, probably 60 years ago or more. But, the world has moved on since then! Yes, it appears my Great Grandfather had a child by another woman before he was married. My Grandmother knows the identity of the child, but cannot reveal it. Honestly, the World could end if she were to reveal this terrible secret which has been her burden for so many years.

The other big family secret is the identity of my Grandfather. I started researching our family tree when I was about 19 and immediately questioned my father who said he had no idea. When he was away to work I went looking in his desk and found a piece of paper with a little family tree sketched out on it. It said my Grandfather's name was Eric Boon/Boone. I'd never heard the name before that day. I questioned my father further and he said I'd have to ask my Grandmother. When I broached the topic with her, to say she was reticent to talk about it would be an understatement. My Father is a product of the post-war celebrations, in my mind anyhow.

The story, as far as I could make it out, was as follows: My Grandmother was 19 and in the ATS (Auxiliary Territorial Service). The year was 1946 and she was stationed at the Bridge-of-Don barracks near Aberdeen. There she met the dashing (5 years older) Eric Boon, Tank Seargeant, who had seen service all over Europe during the War. I'm sure she said North Africa, Italy and France. Anyway, he'd sweet-talked her with marriage proposals and all that and she got pregnant. Then she found out he'd been seeing other women as well, fell out with him, he still wanted to get married, but she gave him the brush off. Besides that, all she knew was, that he came from Leeds and he was about 25 at the time.

Anyhow, several years later, when quizzed again, she tells me, his name was actually John (as is my fathers) and that Eric was just what they called him, because there was a famous boxer called Eric Boon, at that time. It was suggested that the boxer Eric Boon may have been his Uncle. There isn't much to go on there really, I don't even want to meet my Grandfather, presuming he's still alive. It's just that as a genealogist, it's tracing the line that gets my interest. The challenge of tracking back the family line, and believe me I've tried numerous avenues with no success, which suggests to me that perhaps even what little I've been told isn't entirely true, or essential details have been omitted or corrupted.

Anyway, that's just my family. My wife's is far worse when it comes to secrets, but if I start writing about those I could land in big trouble. So, if you have a dirty family secret, please feel free to leave a comment about it, so that the rest of us can know that it's not just our families that are weird!