Italy or bust !

Here's a photo I took last year on holiday at Lloret de Mar in Spain (the location reminded me of a scene from the game "Riven"). This year the whole family have their hearts set on Italia. I have been to Italy before, went their around age 10. I recall it quite well though, despite the passage of time (25 years ago). We went to Florence and Pisa (up the tower), the weather was fantastic and the food unlike anything I've known before or since. My last trip abroad, prior to Spain, was a working trip to Azerbaijian. That was a real eye-opener. As we travelled back and forth in the Capital Baku, we saw areas that were clearly Muslim, areas that were completely Westernised and others which were remnants of Communist Russian occupation. Of course there were other Scots working there already, there's no place we haven't infiltrated. When the first Mars mission lands, they'll find Scots guys already hard at work, probably drilling test-wells or something!

To Bee or Not to Bee?

That is the question! So, it looks like the biggest threat to human existence might not be a half-witted fella who lives in a white house, after all, but something far more unassuming, the humble mobile phone. Apparently the Honeybee has difficulties navigating when it gets bombarded with mobile phone signals. As much as 70% of the Honeybee poulation may already have been wiped out ! So you may think, "What's a few bees?" Well bear in mind that Honeybees pollinate our flowers, and that includes crops. No crops pollinated.... no crops! No crops.... hungry people! Hungry people.... anarchy! As someone from Invergordon pointed out to me today, every insect plays a crucial role on this planet. Should we continue to wipe out species at the rate we're going, it stands to reason that at some stage, even the loss of the smallest creature could have a massive impact on our lives. Here endeth todays lesson!

This is Udderly Unbelievable !

Regardless of whether you believe that aliens exist or not, you simply have to click on the image above and watch the Youtube video of (seemingly) a cow being abducted by a UFO. I guess, it's safer to do you're own butchery, after the palavers we've had with E-coli, Salmonella etc. Apparently, the video was from Japanese TV, and the cow's mutilated carcass was found returned the following day. If that happened in France, the EU would be only to happy to hand the farmer compensation for a 1000 cows, because that's what it means to be part of the European Community. Working on the same principle, Scottish fishermen (once part of a thriving industry) are virtually unable to fish in Sottish waters, and have to watch helplessly while foreign boats pull in huge catches. Oh, sorry, I didn't meant to get all political and moaning, as I'm sure you're only too well aware; politics is a moan culture. Back to business, I must send my condolences to the Moo family.

I am a Cider Drinker !

At the tender age of 35, I have finally been converted. I used to think that cider was a girls drink, and remained a firm lager man. But recently I have succumbed, first to Bulmers cider, and more recently Magners, both of which wet my whistle superbly. Just look at that glass above, don't you want it? I'm not trying to market the drink or anything, no need, they alredy have an extensive marketing campaign underway. They also produce it in handy litre bottles, so thoughtful...

Anyway, where was I, oh yes, spent all day yesterday doing a Router configuration task as part of my Network Systems assessment, what a chore! However, in 4 weeks time, my degree studies shall be over, and I'll be a free man, unless I have to sign on, or work, or God forbid.... become a... house-husband!

Nnnnnooooooooooooooooooooo.....................

The demise of the Knights Templar

If you've read any of my posts thus far, which I doubt, you may have wondered why the site is called "The shroud of Jacques DeMolay". Well, you see, Jacques De Molay was the last Grand Master of the Knights Templar, who in the 12th and 13th Century were world players in banking, finance, foreign travel etc. Unfortunately, come Friday 13th October 1307, having lost the Holy Land to the infidels, they had also aroused the jealousy of Phillip the Fair, King of France, who had the Pope (his cousin) denounce them as deviants and worse, heretics. Of course, Phillip just wanted the Templar treasure (not to mention getting rid of his massive debts to the Templars). He never found the treasure, and poor Jacques De Molay spent the next 5 years being tortured until he was finally burned to death in 1312. Part of his torture was being crucified, as one of the charges against the order was denouncing Christ, so his tormentors thought it just revenge. Now, as you might know, tests on the Turin shroud indicate it belonged to that precise period. No-one else was known to have been cruciofied at that time, so it's highly likely that it was the sheet on which Jacques De Molay was lain after he received that form of torture. And Phillip, he never got that treasure, and died 2 years after Jacques. However, for the treasure and the survival of the order, look no further than my own Scotland, where the King Robert the Bruce, who was excommunicat at the time would have accepted both readily.

World In Collision V's Earth Crust Displacement

Perhaps I just come from a strange family, but my father and I hold widely separated views regarding the ending of the last Ice Age, and the global flooding events, volcanic activity etc. which accompanied that era. While my father is a proponent of Immanuel Velikovsky's "Worlds In Collision" theory, aseerting that a large comet impacted the Earth, I myself, am a fervent supporter of Charles Hapgood's "Earth Crust Displacement" theory, which suggests that the massive volume of Ice, which covered North America, pulled the Earth's crust around to displace that mass. Much evidence backs up that theory:

• The rapid freezing of animals in Siberia
• The mystery of Atlantis (could have been Antartica)
• The global mythology of flood events
• Einstein, like me, thought it was a great theory

Of course, it's possible that some combination of both theories actually happened, or neither, but that's the beauty of theories, if no-one can disprove them, then they stand the test of time !

The New Shmoo and Project Pessimism !

I remeber fondly the New Shmoo, from when I was a kid. I have a particuarly vivid recollection of him turning into a ladder, so that the gang could make their way across some pit or other. Apparently he turned into what ever nearby humans wished for, and of course food was a particular favourite. Anyway, I have this web-design project I'm doing at college. It's a team project with a project plan and everything. Today we had our weekly team meeting and one of the team (no names) claimed we were pretty well on target. To which, I had to remind him, we are 4 weeks adrift with 2 weeks remaining. He just refused to share my pessimism and like a good shmoo tried to give me what I wanted. But, it's not real, I can't realistically have 4 weeks in a 2 week period, no more than an animal can morph into a pit-bridging tool.

Saintly Tony dreams of a EU superstate !

So, all ths signs point to the US or Israel launching some sort of nuclear strike on Iran, possibly before the month is out, on the pretext that someday they might be able to make a tiny litle nuke. Where will that leave Blair? who has promised that he will unveil his legacy to us in the next 3 weeks. It looks like his legacy may well be a signature for the EU constitution, which he promised us a referendum on, but we never got it did we, because we would have voted it down big-style. Fortunately for us though, Tony is a man of vision, he has seen the future, and its one where someone else will have to sort out the shit he's left behind. He made a lot of promises didn't he, and he's certainly bowing out on a high: high taxes, high cost of living, high cost of travelling, high cost of fuel, high cost of utilities, high migrant work force, high crime stats, high chance of getting MRSA should you chance going to hospital. Thanks for the memories Tony, you really made this nation great once again.

Paradiso Maldivianus Rex

It's time for a holiday, or at least it feels that way. I'd like to go to Italy this year, but rumour has it I might have to get a job, and then where will that leave me. After 3 years of College, the thought of working is fairly daunting. There is though the even worse prospect of having to deal with Job Centre staff and the usual 99 page application for dole! Then of course they have to make you suffer as much as possible for as long as possible before they give you a penny. I'm still waiting to hear if I've been accepted for teacher training at Aberdeen University, that'll be another year in education, so ideal really, as opposed to working or signing on. Anyway, I have loads of books to read and films to watch that I've foregone in order to complete numerous assessments which I could detail herein, but the subject content of which I hope will never cross my path again, so I won't mention it! I finished reading "The Island of the Day Before". Pretty good read really, must purchase some more of his books.

I think therefore I read !

Have you ever met someone who doesn't like reading? how ridiculous! My brother once worked with a guy who didn't like music (any music). I don't know if I would condemn such people or pity them. Did they choose ignorance? or are they still nursing some childhood trauma?

I think TV is to blame in many ways, people think they can get all they need from the TV, but they can't! Nothing stimulates the mind like a well written book, and I don't think the TV conveys allegory and symbolism very well either. So, if you're reading this and you haven't read a book for a while, just go and find a book you fancy from your local bookshop, there's bound to be something, rediscover the joys of reading, it's not a chore!