Worst film ever... not quite!

So it was the other evening that the family found ourselves seated to watch a DVD. This is not in itself unusual. I quite often purchse a DVD at the Supermarket for perusal on a Saturday night. Over the last year we've watched some great films... "Observe and Report" for instance, which we watched again a couple of days ago. A really well scripted and slightly quirky comedy. On this occasion though the aforementioned DVD purchase was a film called "Barabrossa: Siege Lord". Now, I'm a bit of  a history buff myself and the cover (not the above image) showed a scene of epic battle chaos. So I thought to myself, "This could be a quite brutal depiction of actual historic events!" I then purchased said DVD for a price that it would later become clear was somewhat greater than the visual return value.

Almost straight from the off it was clearly low budget, but besides that the script and acting were inordinately bad. The scenes depicting Barbarossa's vast army never really got out of the tens of figures as far as I could see. The film was Italian made and as the Milanese rebelled against their tyrannical ruler, I'm afraid to say that they came across as arrogant and obnoxious not to mention quick-tempered. I hoped that Barbarossa would crush them mercilessly thereafter. In fact, unlike "Spartacus" or "Braveheart", where the rebellions were justifiable, the Milanese seem to have been well-treated by Barbarossa and seem largely autonomous when they first appear. Unfortunately, the grandiose climax where the two opposing forces meet was laughable, with cut-scenes of battle and a charging Barbarossa being played sometimes three or four times. The same clips!!!

Best of all, despite stealing elements from Gladiator, the end battle was in fact a complete rip-off of Braveheart. The heroic speech before-hand was almost identical... "freedom, blah, blah, blah....". When Barbarossa's army were advancing, the same "Wait for it" line was used and even the same idea of faking retreat to reveal "Schilltroms" (armed squares of spearmen) appeared. Something which was in fact unique to the Scots! Disappointingly, the Milanese were victorious!

Now as bad as this film was, it wasn't the worst I've ever seen. That honour goes to a film called "Mummy 2". When "The Mummy Returns" was released on DVD, my wife (much to our ridicule) purchased the aforesaid title thinking it was the latter. The Mummy involved in chasing after and presumably killing some American teenagers, was a bandage -wrapped creature not unlike that you would have perhaps seen in a 1920's silent movie. It moved at the speed of a snail while a cowering teenager screamed helplessly for sometimes several minutes as it advanced like a deranged geriatric, never for a moment considering fleeing from it's pathetic advance. Now that is a film you should watch. It has it's own novelty value, quite comic really, in terms of just how awful it is.

Here's my Hoof Print!

Today, I "signed-on" for the first time since becoming unemployed. Unless you live in the UK you won't understand what this means, but basically it's going to the Job Centre at a specific fortnightly time to sign to receive benefits. My signing-on time was 9am and I turned up only to wait with a couple other guys for about 10 minutes until someone deigned to unlock the doors. During this period many people passed by looking at us like we were the scum of the Earth, including a couple people I know unfortunately. Maybe they weren't looking at us like that, however, that's the way I was feeling. It was undignified and demeaning. There is still very much a social stigma here about being unemployed. The assumption would be that you don't want to work and that you're some sort of lowlife.

I don't even know if I'm going to get any money anyway. I just want a decent job. I went back to Uni in 2003 and spent four years there. I was Student Rep every year. I had the highest marks in every exam and in coursework. I achieved a distinction despite having no tutors for the last 6 months of my final year... and I can't get a proper job. I have talents, I have ideas. Nobody seems interested. I get the distinct impression from job interviews I've attended that they would far prefer for me to bullshit. They have no interest in my experience or knowledge. I honestly sit there thinking "They want to me to make up some nonsense about my life!" You might not know what I'm talking about, but anyone involved in Scottish education might have a good idea. Your ability to teach or subject knowledge is now secondary to your other talents. I have honestly been told that I would get a job no bother if I could juggle or do Martial Arts. I know why too. They now view teachers as child-minders tasked with entertaining children rather than educating them. Purely, because they've bought into all of these talent shows on the TV. "Those are popular. Let's make education like that! The children will love it!"

I know I came into education at the wrong time, but despite the recession, goverment cuts, local authority cuts and school cuts, what I've seen is rotten to the core. The new curriculum which is "going to put Scotland at the forefront of education"... if I were a parent of the first tranche, I would be livid. I've seen the pupils who are the "first to benefit" from the new curriculum and in more than one school. What I've seen frightens me. They will be a lost generation. Their entire education will be rendered meaningless. They have and are being failed. The goverment will no doubt blame the teachers, but they chose to implement this new curriculum when teachers said they weren't ready for it, without proper finances, when job cuts were looming and with a curriculum which is nothing more than a wishy-washy set of ambiguous and utopian statements of intent. You should know that there is no curriculum really. Teachers are being asked to make it up as they go along. Every school will be teaching different things in different ways. God help any child who moves to another school. They will be completely lost in the system.

Feeling Low!



Well, it's true, I'm kinda depressed. I saw it coming, but I thought it could be avoided. I've had 3 years of constant work, different jobs, but without a break. That has now ended. As of last week, I am out of work. I did go for an interview, but I didn't get the job and once again, something about the interview didn't feel right and I suspect that they already had someone lined up. That's not uncommon here!

To add insult to injury, the wife and I drove up to Torridon to climb Beinn Eighe on Saturday. It was a beautiful day and we really enjoyed ourselves. However, as soon as we started the drive home, the engine warning light came on and I discovered that the coolant had disappeared. I filled it with water again, but the engine was clearly over-heating. I've a good idea what the problem might be, but I don't want to discuss it. Let's just say, it could be expensive and couldn't have come at a worse time. The prospect of being out of work and without transport is not to be contemplated. If I do find suitable employment, I will almost definitely have to commute every day and public transport as infrequent as it is, cannot be relied upon in this part of the World.

So, this is where I find myself. It feels like I've been on a roller-coaster for years. To be honest, there is no real prospect of employment at the moment anyway. Employees are being let loose all over. Certainly not being employed. I haven't been this despondent in such a long time. I think I'll go and make a sandwich for my lunch. Yay, highlight of my day!!!