A Banana Boat To Britain!

Well, I've heard about this sort of thing before, but this is the first time I've seen conclusive photographic evidence. What happens is this : Money changes hands and the bananas are loaded onto a ship destined to take them to a new life in Europe. More than likely they want to go to the UK. Things get confused during the dangerous sea crossing and the handlers begin to get fed up with the constant demands coming from the bananas. Before they know where they're at, the bananas are tossed over the side, and wash up dead on the seashore.

It's a terrible story, but these things really happen everyday. The dream of a better life shattered suddenly at the hands of unscupulous individuals. These people shouldn't be able to get away with it. Look how many innocent bananas perished in this particular instance, and it didn't even make mainstream news. It' s almost as though nobody cares. They just turn a blind eye to the problem and hope it'll go away. Well it won't go away. What will it take before people sit up and notice?

Maybe it's just beacause people lack respect for bananas, they see them as some sort of Third World fruit. If it was Kiwi fruit it would be a different story, since the Kiwis come from a Commonwealth country. The loss of thousands of Kiwis in one go, and these fruit smuggling gangs would be shutdown overnight, there's nothing more certain. It's time someone stood up to this shameful fruit prejudice and put a stop to the illegal banana trafficking!

The Bonfire Of the Nanny State!

Well, I completely missed Bonfire night this year, given what I've gotten myself into. I did spot the odd firework, but I just wasn't feeling it I'm afraid. It's a shame really, because it's only a matter of time before the Local Authorities start preventing people from having them altogether. You know, Health and Safety, the strain it places on the fire service. All that nonsense! The World's going to hell in a handcart, at least that would be the case if handcarts still existed hereabouts. Those would be a health hazard, anywhere outside of South East Asia.

Do people still burn a guy on the bonfire? Do they even realise what it signifies? The fact that he represents the man who had the greatest and most audacious idea for a plot ever, in the history of the World, except that it was a set up. To think that they were going to get rid of the royals, the politicians and the church leaders in one fell swoop. Now that's a masterplan that even a Bond villain would think twice about undertaking.

It's all a moot point really, as Fawkes was not burned at the stake, but was sentenced to be hung, drawn and quartered. Fawkes even managed to escape the worst of it, by jumping from the scaffold and snapping his neck. The drawing bit was barbaric in the extreme and that's a fact. A wise man to avoid giving that sadistic pleasure to his captors!

The Two Towers!

Can you believe it? This church steeple from the village of Suurhusen in Northern Germany, has only gone and knocked the Leaning Tower of Pisa off it's slot as the most leaning building in the World. Now officially recognised by the Guniness Book of Records, the steeple which was added to the main building in 1450 is the new record holder. Owing to the use of wooden foundations the steeple has progressively leaned since building, although it has been stable since 1996 apparently. It is leaning considerably more than the Pisan tower, as you can plainly see from the photo!

I'm a bit miffed, because one of my very few claims to fame is the fact that I've been up to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I'm well aware that for quite a while, people weren't allowed up the tower, because of safety concerns. I'm damn sure I'm not going to Germany to go up some church steeple, but it has got me thinking, just how many people will travel there from far and wide, just so they can claim they've been up it? They'd better start making the models right now!

Like I told you a few days back, I'm only 2 days into the teaching experience and already I'm finding it difficult to think about anything other than lesson plans and what I should be saying to them during the direct teaching component of the lesson. I woke up at 6 this morning and that was me. Once my brain starts ticking, it just won't stop again till night. More teaching stuff to follow, I'm sure. I'll try not to, but it could be difficult!

I Made It Back Alive!

I'd never stood in front of 20 kids before and talked to them about computing, but I have now. It's started, but there's a long way to go. I won't say I wasn't nervous, of course I was, but I didn't let them see it, apparently if they smell fear, they'll tear you limb from limb. Still, I've survived, even though I was pretty much thrown straight into it. That's probably the best way. The teacher even left the class, almost straight away, and somehow I got through it unscathed.

I'm not saying it went perfectly, because it didn't. Some of the pupils were talking and I had a job getting them to quieten down. I also need to use my voice to much greater effect in future, that much I sussed out for myself. I've got a load more lessons lined up anyhow. Things are really going to start piling up on me very quickly over the next few weeks, that's for sure.

Good TV last night, with Top Gear once again showing us how easily the BBC can spend our money, dragging the team out to Botswana to race 3 second-hand cars across the country, through a massive salt-pan, which no-one has been stupid enpugh to cross before, then at break-neck speed through a game reserve. All quite ridiculous and clearly costing a king's ransom, but never the less, compelling viewing. Some people hate it, they told me so. That's their God-given right I suppose. Me, I like it!

Sunburn Of A Cluttered Mind!

I finally had the opportunity yesterday to watch the film "Sunshine", which given my recent lamenting over the demise of Sci-fi in general, was most welcome viewing. Although I'm well aware that the film probably borrowed heavily from several other Sci-fi films I've seen (I'm thinking; Space Odyssey: 2001, Event Horizon, Alien, Solaris etc.), I have a sneaking suspicion that it was more of a homage to those films rather than outright copying. Anyhow, I had seen mixed reviews, but the trailer looked really good, so I can inform you that the film was definitely worth the watching, with a good blend of action and suspense.

So, tomorrow is a big day for me. My first day teaching, although I'm not sure just how much teaching I'll get to do, but after this it's going to ramp up sharply too 13.5 hours per week, by the fourth week. What I'm trying to tell you is that I might not have much time to post here over the next four weeks, ot at least not to the standard you might have come to expect. Well, I'll do my best, but I have voluminous amounts of paperwork to prepare, so just be warned. It's quite annoying really, because I like to put a little bit of thought into my posts, but I'll have nothing but teaching in my head for the forseeable future. Perhaps some ideas will spill out from the classroom, let's wait and see!

A Picture Tells A 1000 Words!

Yes, it's true, my generosity knows no bounds, in seeking out for you, such images as I hope will provide you with a great deal of pleasure in beholding! For, yes it's as they say "Seeing is believing", and the following images have a common theme, there must have been a rather interesting build-up to the event. The nature of that build-up is left to your imagination... enjoy!

Oh, and about that Dragonfruit thing, it did taste a little bit like Kiwi fruit, only decidedly more watery and without the sweetness. In fact it was rather bland. You wouldn't want to eat a whole one, or indeed find yourself in a situation where your very survivial relied on consuming an abundance of them. Still, to put it into context, Ive tasted worse! And, so have you!

Enter the Dragonfruit!

Feeling rather spontaneous this morning, and having spotted this bizarre looking creature (see photo) in the fruit & veg aisle of Asda's, I went ahead and bought myself a pair of the strange looking Dragonfruit things. You should realise if you're reading this and wondering why I haven't had any before, just let me point out that these are alien to Scotland, I've never seen them before, and the price reflected that! I wouldn't have bothered if I hadn't read a small note at the side which claimed they were similar to Kiwi fruit in taste. That claim will shortly be put to the test and I'll let you know the results tomorrow. Suffice to say, the images I've seen of the inside cause me to doubt the veracity of the Kiwi claim.

Also this morning, we managed to pick up a few early Chrismas presents, mainly toys for nieces and nephews, God knows what our kids will be getting. Unfortunately, my daughter also informed me at lunchtime, that while looking for batteries, she found a receipt from Toys R'Us with all her Christmas presents from last year on it. She's a smart cookie, so as of now, Santa is officially dead in this house, I'm afraid. Ah well, he had a good run.

Anyway, at this rate, Labour will have Christmas abolished in this country. They've had a think-tank spewing out nonsense such as:

• Let's call it Winterval instead of Christmas
• Put Holiday Greetings instead of Best Wishes on your Christmas cards
• Let's celebrate the holidays of other religions than Christinanity, with just as much relish

All of this is aimed at making the soaring numbers of immigrants feel more welcome when they get here. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against immigrants, but there has to be a limit. Besides which, surely preaching tolerance and integration should be directed at them. not at us, we're not the ones starting a new life abroad. And if the roles were reversed, we wouldn't expect them to change for us. That would be ridiculous. Anyway, I've never heard of any immigrant coming to this countrty and complaining about Christmas, they're not bothered in the slightest. But, these people who clearly know nothing about foreign cultures, deem it in everyone's best interest, for us to change our whole way of life to suit. It just ain't gonna happen! I embrace foreign culture, they've got as lot to offer, but what's so wrong with our own culture, that we should change?

A Truly Haunting Experience!

Talk about the scariest night of the year! Last night, I had all these things planned, that I was going to get done, seeing I had that time available. Oh no, my wife decided she was going to some kickboxing aerobics thing at 5.45 pm. I was to dish out sweets, monkey nuts, lollipops and so on to the kids that came to the door. I realised quite quickly that this could develop into something akin to a living nightmare and pleaded with her not to go, but her heart was cold, bah!

In all my years I've never seen so many trick-or-treaters, and they were coming mob-handed, sometimes up to 8 at a time. Before I knew it, I was running out of stuff. This was very slightly exacerbated by my indulging myself in the sweets after each party of kids had been seen off. I only had a dozen or so chews... bah, are you trying to make me feel fat?

Speaking of fat, having finished Uni early today, I caught the train at 1.10 pm, thinking that there would be lots of seats, and I could relax and enjoy my packed lunch on the train. Meh, folied again, there were just enough seats and no more. I got a seat at a table, then the guy across from me pulled out a laptop. This was going to make lunching difficult. Next thing, this big (read fat for big... very) guy comes on to the train, obviously having had to dash for it (he was reeking of B.O.). He sat next to me, squashing me up, and stinking as I said. So, not only couldn't I have my lunch, but I'd lost my appetite too. He had his though (lunch and appetite). He'd came on with three bags of stuff, and the biggest bag contained his lunch. He was putting the grub away like there was no tomorrow. I love taking the train!

Bark At the Moon!

Ooh, Halloween... creepy, no scary! Err, not really, try the prospect of teaching a class of 15-16 year olds, for the first time ever next Monday. Now, that's a scary prospect! This is what I have lined up; a 4 week block of teaching, starting off with just the odd class, and finishing with 13.5 hours teaching time in the final week. Unfortunately, that actual teaching is only a small part of what I have to do. I have to develop full lesson plans for each lesson, I have an assessment on learning theories which I have to tie into the teaching, I must tie it altogether with the Standards For Initial Teacher Education (SITE), I have school based study tasks to perform, and every lesson will be observed by a teacher, with one lesson in particular being observed by 2 University lecturers who will critique my peformance.

I tell you, this teaching lark isn't easy. Besides all the paperwork, the teacher's role is no longer simply to teach. There are pastoral duties, social and moral implications, inclusive practice, not to mention the fact that the whole education system seems to be on the brink of being significantly restructured. There seems to be a ground-swell of movement at higher levels away from the idea of assessment as a formal basis for education, towards an emphasis on process. I make no judgments on the rationality of this viewpoint. I'm only bringing you the news so to speak. I suspect however, that we will see an end to the Standard Grade format in Scotland, in the not too distant future.

Anyhow, if you're going out tonight, do not concern yourself with thoughts of evil spirits and the living dead. Just remember that there's nothing more dangerous than the people that you put in power, making political decisions based on their bizarre misguided beliefs, which may well bring us to the brink of Armageddon. See, the real monsters are grey-suited men, who believe they have a direct hotline to God, and that the message is, "Kill anyone who's not like us, but has stuff that should really be ours!" Ghosts and ghouls can only give you a fright, these monsters could plunge us all into a living hell. Sleep tight now, won't you?

The Death Of Sci-Fi?

Has Sci-fi died? I ask why, because it feels like there has been a distinct lack of Sci-fi in recent years, especially in the film industry, Star Wars aside. There was a time when we took Sci-fi films for granted and there were TV series aplenty. Just think back to the first Star Trek series, Lost In Space, Doctor Who (when he went to other worlds, now he just can't leave Cardiff). Personally, I yearn for some of that thinkig man's Sci-fi, not unlike A Space Odyssey: 2001, or the early Star Trek epsiodes, where, like Lost In Space, there was always a moral lesson to be learned.

In gerneral, the same applies to all films and British TV in particular, which is losing ground to US telly at a dramtic rate. Everyone knows that the basis for a good film or TV series lies in the script writing. If you get that right, then you've already laid the ground work. With a decent budget/actors, there isn't too much room for error once that script is secured. So, what can the problem be? Well, I could be wrong, but I think the source of the problem is ageism! Shock horror, what am I saying? Well, I'm saying, that they're allowing young guys to write scripts, who possess no real knowledge of Sci-fi history. Not only that, the script approvers haven't a scooby either, so the output is absolute trash.

The solution lies in going back to those books written in the 50's and 60's when Sci-fi writing was at it's zenith. Bring some of those works up to date, reflecting the changes that have happened since then, and you'll have yourself some tremendous film material. I know because I used to read some of those very books. There's a wealth of potential Sci-fi blockbusters gathering dust on old book shelves. I cite Ursula Le Guin's "Left-hand Path Of Darkness" and several of the works of Poul Andersen, (which are numerous) as examples. Come on, let's get the Sci-fi film industry back into full swing!