Sunday 29 July 2007

Top 10 Ways To Kiss Mankind Goodbye!




The slightly delayed, but highly anticipated follow-up to the Illuminati wanting to depopulate the World, post. This expands on the possible ways in which human life could be completely extinguished, but should clearly be taken with a pinch of salt, because to my knowledge, none of these are actually imminent!

In order of likelihood, but varying between possible and highly unlikely:

Top 10 ways to end all humankind

1. Pandemic
A lethal virus (man-made?) sweeps the globe destroying all of humanity. Scientists work around the clock to find a vaccine, but the virus is too complex and constantly mutates, it is also resistant to all antibiotics. The victims suffer excruciating deaths, while politicians and wealthy businessmen hide in bunkers to protect themselves, only to find they are already carrying the virus because it's that contagious and lies dormant for several days before demonstrating it's deadly capabilities.

2. Nuclear Holocaust
The Super Powers become caught up in some petty squabble which quickly escalates towards armed conflict. Nuclear strikes are launched in order to effect a rapid conclusion. Retalliatory strikes are also launched and major cities across the globe are reduced to rubble. This does not kill too many, however the radioactive fallout from the explosions will last for several years, poisoning all water supplies, livestock and vegetation. There is nothing to eat or drink and disease is rife. Billions die horribly, but maybe somewhere, some people can make it through!

3. Worlds In Collision
Velikovsky's theories about the frequency of inter-planetary collisions demonstrates itself to be true, to startling effect. A massive comet impacts the Earth at incredible speed. It probably impacts in an ocean, but no matter, the shockwave kills everyone, or if there are any survivors, the 3 year long nuclear winter that follows will finish them.

4. Pole Shift
Every so often we have a reversal in the poles of the planet. North becomes South and vice versa. The effects of this become clear when suddenly it becomes impossible to go outside without your skin turning black fom the lethal rays of the Sun entering the atmosphere. Life inside becomes difficult too and everyone dies, maybe the pole-shift is a bad thing after all.

5. Sun Dies
Suddenly and with little warning the Sun simply expires, burnt out. It gets very cold, very quickly. Not even the cockroaches will survive!

6. Earth sucked into a Black Hole
Oops where did that come from? The scientists never saw it because it was black and space is also black, black on black you see! Without warning every person on Earth sudeenly becomes 50 miles tall and 3mms wide. Don't worry, you won't even feel it!

7. Alien Invasion
Aliens arrive uninvited and start wiping us out because we're an embarassment to intelligent beings everywhere, or alternatively they show up all friendly like the ones in "V" and start shipping us back to their homeworld where their reptilian kinsman can devour us at their leisure, because human flesh is just so damn yummy!

8. Massive Sea-level rise
All the predictions on climate change go out the window as the ice-caps melt instantaneously (a particularly hot summer). The sea-level rises, a lot, and tsunamis obliterate everything. Maybe a couple goat-herds will survive, but without any mates and with just a few goats to eat, their time will also be relatively short.

9. Fabric of Space-Time Continuum torn asunder
Some "boffins" discover the means by which to travel back in time, which they then proceed to do, travelling back millions of years into the past. Unfortunately, one of them decides to pick a flower (a specimen to take back to the lab) and inadvetently kills a newt-like creature, which unfortunately is the sole-ancestor of all mankind. This creates a paradox and it becomes as though we had never been!

10. An act of God
God's had enough! He's not even bothered about saving the animals this time, we've already wiped out millions of species and would eventually finish off the remaining species. Think Sodom and Gomorrah, but on a Global scale.

Lottery Swindle!


For today's post I was planning to write a follow up to yesterday's post on the Illuminati plot to depopulate the planet, by expanding on the possible ways by which human life might cease to exist. Unfortunately, I will have to put this on the back-burner until tomorrow, because last night something inadvertently came to my attention, which I believe needs to be expounded upon herein.

I was washing the dishes (yes, I'm a 21st Century man) and the T.V. was on, although nobody was watching it as far as I'm aware. So, although I couldn't see the telly, I could hear it. The Lottery show was on, something which I would normally avoid like the plague, because it's so cheesy and... it's just awful really! Anyway, it's going on and I catch the presenter saying something very much like;

"Remember, all your money going to the good cause fund will be paying for the Olympic and Paralympic games!"

And, I'm thinking to myself "Did I just hear him correctly?" because he said "all your money". I know the Olympics are going to cost a fortune, but surely the Government should be paying for it. Well, it's obvious really, I'd already heard that the government was using lottery funds to pay for government sponsored projects under the guise of being "good causes", but this takes the biscuit! Firstly, all the good cause money is being channeled into London, when it's supposed to be distributed across the UK, and secondly it's now even more transparent why Richard Branson's Virgin company were turned down the opportunity of running the lottery.

Branson offered to run it for free with even more money going to good causes, but clearly such enterprises are only intended to operate as some sort of gigantic money laundering scam. There's no point coming up with an idea where the public are eager to pour in their cash for virtually no return, if you can't abuse it completely.

A second thing that was said on the show, once again made my thinking travel off on a tangent. The host said;

"I know it's going to be a busy night, but can you give me a time-check please?"

A omnipresent being responds;

"Yes, the time is almost 11 minutes past..." whatever, 8 I think he said.

I thought to myself "Why would they do that? Do they feel the need to demonstrate that the show is live, because in reality it isn't?" It just seemed like such a bizarre thing to do. Surely, if the show is in fact live, they wouldn't feel the need to prove it. Highly suspicious, I'm being to think the whole thing is run by mobsters!