The Deadly Eyes Of the Cat!

Stalingrad, the Winter of 1942-43, and the conflict had taken on a deadly new form. Small feline creatures had been trained to form part of an elite sniper unit, which had German infantry pinned down in several key parts of the city. With supplies running low, and the cold biting with savage intensity, things looked bleak for the Germans, but wait, the cats had forgotten their Winter weather clothing, they were uncamouflaged. Black cats on white snow, soon to be black cats on red snow.

Yes, I might seem mad, but then I have been teaching for 4 weeks, so what else would you expect. Tomorrow is my last day, until the New Year. Now I simply have to produce a detailed 5000 word assignment covering every possible aspect of education imaginable, to be submitted in 10 days time. When will it ever end, that's almosty 4 years of essays, assignments, assessments, projects and exams I've had to endure to get to this point. I just want to earn some money now!!!

Coincidentally, I might have said this before, but these last 4 weeks I've been so busy, and yet in a bizarre twist, I've had huge success with my family tree for the first time in ages. I guess these things just happen and it's other people who have the time on their hands, not me. Still, perhaps I am too obliging with my precious time!

The Indoor War Association!

Every boy and man seems to have some unhealthy obsession with warfare, whether it's wanting to join the forces, or playing video games. Myself, I have no interest in warfare as such, in fact I think it's pointless and brutal. But that's not to say that there wasn't a time when war was actually necessary and the strategy of war was an art form. Of course, modern warfare is fought against invisible enemies, with no clearly defined outcome or objectives, fought in lands far removed from our own. It used to be the case, that you would go and fight becasue the enemy was at the gates, it was clear cut.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a fan of "Medal Of Honour" and "Call Of Duty" and the "Total War" series. It's easy to villify the Germans in video games, because they were clearly the bad guys, same with Napoleon and his armies. All the great generals are remembered because of their famous victories, and yet they all died rather ignominiously; Hitler, Napoleon, Alexander, Genghis Khan. Apart from Genghis, they weren't very good breeders either, now I come to think of it.

Anyhow, to the point. As, I'm shortly due to become wireless and will effectively have a LAN in the household for the first time, I'm going to have a great time playing all of the aforementioned games against my son. He's way too good for most games as it is, so it will be a pleasure indeed for me to play Wellington to his Napoleon, Monty to his Rommel etc. So tell me again, how do you set up a wireless network?

The Power Of the Spoken Word!

Did I ever tell you my theory on the powers of humanity before written language was formed? No, I don't think I did. Well, I'll tell you now, and you can shoot it down if you like, everyone has their own opinion and most are wrong. I use the power of reason to fashion my arguments, but it's increasingly difficult to find rational people capable of reasoned thinking anymore. Why is it that folk are willing to accept any scientific theory thrown at them if it comes from a "reputable" source? It's the guys who can think outside the box, the so called crackpots, who make the major breakthrough's, and it's only generations later that they're accepted as geniuses.

Anyway, I'm no genius, but here goes. Clearly before written language appeared, oral traditions and histories were the key to civilization. I suspect that in places such as Egypt and South America, priesthood's held sway over the people, and to concentrate and magnify their powers, the spoken word when used correctly, particularly in secret rites, took on magical properties.

The dilemna we're dealing with here, is a positive shift from right-brain to left-brain thought patterns with the development of writing. I believe that before writing, socities influenced by the spoken word alone, thought in an entirely different way. Being able to think in a very different way also means being able to do things that you wouldn't otherwise. I believe that such people would have been deeply empathetic, intuitive and instinctive and far more able to develop powers of animal kinship, psychic powers, and possibly tele-kinetic powers.

You think I'm talking absolute nonsense, but I'm not entirely making this up. There is much evidence to suggest that such things are true. For instance, we know little about the power of sound in ancient times, but clearly the Egptians knew secrets long since lost. Ancient texts allude to large scale construction projects, where they placed a sacred hieroglyph on a papyrus leaf, under a block, and upon a certain note being intoned by a group of individuals, the rock would fly through the air to it's desired location. I'm not going to tell you any more, find out for yourself!

Music For Fire and Snow!

My son is studying Romeo and Juliet in English right now, but with the need for teachers to make things cool, they've actually been watching the Baz Luhrmann film version rather than reading the actual Shakespeare play. To be honest with you, I didn't like the film, despite Radiohead's "Talk Show Host" and "Exit Music (For A Film)" being included. At best, I would be willing to sit through the closing credits and listen to Exit Music (For A Film) playing, an absolutely fantastic song which sums up more about Romeo and Juliet for me, than the film ever could.

Vanilla Sky, now there's a decent film with Radiohead music in it, and Sigur Ros too, superbly selected music for a soundtrack. I like this film, even though many peple think it's strange and I guess Tom Cruise had become a deridable figure having lost much off this popularity since then, But, Vanilla Sky is one of these films which force you to stop and think, and I just love that in a film. For some people it's action, romance or gore, whatever... for me, it's bizarre philosophical Sci-fi type shennanigans. And, with some decent music too, an unstoppable combination.

Dammit, I've just realised that I've mentioned Radiohead and Sigur Ros, two posts in a row. At this rate, the cat will be out of the bag and it will be clear as day to all insundry, exactly where my musical devotions lie. Someplace between this sceptred isle and the land of fire and snow. That would be either Shetland or the Faroe Isles by my insane reckoning. If you think this is mad, don't expect things to become clearer anytime soon.

A Mountain To Climb!

I've been using free beta versions of this program Geno Pro since around 2000. It's probably about time I purchased a copy. It only costs £20, but I've never seen the need until recently. It's a damn nifty piece of software anyhow, but having been trying out a beta version of the newest release over the last week or so, I am absolutely astounded by the number of fantastic features that this program now has. I know I sound as though I'm marketing it or something, but as Family Tree software goes, this one knocks everything else into orbit.

Unfortunately for me, I've already gifted myself this years Christmas prezzies in the form of Radiohead's "In Rainbows" boxset, due to arrive in a week or so, and the new Sigur Ros double dvd; "Heima". Mind you, Geno Pro is a one time only purchase, all future updates are free if you already own it, so I think I better find the cash from somewhere, because life is so much easier when you have the right tools for the job, am I correct?

So, another week of school experience, then it's back to Uni. I'm quite keen to get back to Uni, only I have an assignment to complete and hand in a week after returning, so that's really going to put a damper on things, until I'm clear of that. Did I tell you how my Critical Observation went? No, I don't think so. Actually, it went about as well as I could possibly have hoped for, so I'm on to the next mountain and let's start climbing again!

Look Ma, No Wires!

In the very near future I'm going to take a step into the unknown and set-up a wireless home network, and probably change ISP after 4 years as well. There are a few very good reasons for doing so; firstly the kids are screaming out for the Internet all the time, and my pc is the only one in the house with Internet access, secondly they both want laptops for Christmas, and thirdly, so my son and I can play games against each other on a WLAN.

I can't really afford to buy them laptops, but an opportunity has presented itself, allowing me the possibility of purchasing them without VAT, which knocks off £100 for starters. Besides which, I recently acquired a wireless eTEC Modem/Router for nothing, so I have that ready to set-up, and also, I'm presently paying £25 a month for 4Mbps DSL, and I saw an ISP advertising 8Mbps in my area, for £20, with free local and international calls. A much better offer, I thnk you'll agree, which also means that I won't detect too much slowing down of my Internet speeds, should the kids be using it too.

Well, the fact is, that I have no idea how to set-up a wireless network and it may well require some other bits and pieces to do so, but in terms of Internt use, if as I supect, the kids have to go through my computer to access the Internet, then Netlimiter will allow me some means by which to ensure that they don't slow me down noticeably. Don't tell them though, they don't need to know do they? And if I'm on a priority download, I'm sure they'll quite readily accept that there are quite often problems associated with being on a wirelss network.

A Little Light Around the Ice-Caps!

I used to believe that those people who moaned about the town Christmas lights being a waste of money, electric and so on, were just a bunch of sourpusses. But, the cost of switching on the Christmas Lights is getting to the point where many towns are no longer bothering. They simply don't have the coffers to make it happen, especially with the government seeming to make local authorities responsible for paying for everything going, via our Council Tax of course.

Anyway, my wife's away helping with the school stalls or whatever, at the grand switch-on tonight, and my daughter will be singing carols with the school choir. Of course I said "used to believe" above implying that I've changed my position. Well I have and I haven't. Now that the kids don't believe in Santa anymore, the whole spark has gone out of it for me. They'll just become cynical about the whole thing. Beside, the eco-warriors would say that Chrismas Lights are killing the planet. Why is it always the small things we do at home and in public that are to blame as opposed to large scale industrial pollution and de-forestation. I don't feel particularly accountable for ice-shelf's breaking free and such like.

What really annoys me is the fact that every household could be self-sufficient for energy with simple tried and tested devices, cars can run on water (totally green), and as for recycling, why do we recycle everything except the stuff that isn't bio-degradable? As much as to say, recycling is a waste of time, unless it's plastic being recycled! So, yes, those people are sourpusses, but I think I'm heading the same way. Someone save me from unending cynicism?

Faust Arp - Webcast Deliciousness!

Told you I wouldn't have much time today, and that hasn't changed. Said I might give you a video and that hasn't changed either. If you don't like Radiohead then that's too bad (what's wrong with you). Regardless, watch this video of Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood with nothing but Thom's mic and Jonny's acoustic, on top of some Wintery hill someplace, just as it's getting dark. From their recent Webcast this is so cobbled together, yet utterly sublime. Talent oozing from every pore!

Stare Into the Chaos!

Weird picture eh? I can't tell you where I got it, or indeed how in fact it came to look like it does? Suffice to say, I know and you probably don't. Let's keep it that way for now, and I'll just say it wasn't photo-shopped or anything, so that should confuse you sufficiently much to make you want to know more. Yes, I am a tease! I let you have a glimpse into the chaos, tell you that it all makes perfect sense, then leave you at the altar. What a wicked person I must be!

So, Ive been busting a gut to get ready for the big event, which is imminent to say the least. I mean of course, my Critical Observation, when after less than 3 weeks practice, someone from the University is going to come and watch me teaching, take notes and form some sort of opinion of my ability. I'm not frightened, but I am feeling the pressure, because, get through this successfully and I won't have to endure a repeat process in January. That definitely makes it worthwhile doing well.

All that being said, I may not have much for you tomorrow, it's "Parents Night" and I will be there in observation mode. I will definitely do something for you though, no matter how brief and content free it will turn out to be! Probably just a video clip or something. Think I''ll go and find it now actually!

A Light In the Dark!

I found this image someplace and thought I would "borrow" it for your viewing pleasure. Apparently, this event only takes place once a year and for 5 minutes only even then. Click on the image to see it full size, it really is a viewing pleasure.

Ok, I had today off, but I've been working from 9 till 9 basically, trying to get stuff organised for my Critical Observation later this week. Even while planning for this special one-off lesson, I still have to get material ready for other lessons, and it's difficult, believe me. Anyone who says that teachers have it easy is either lying or knows nothing about it. My experience so far tells me that teachers actually live teaching. It's all encompassing, you have very little time left for anything outside of the school.

I have so many other things I'd like to get done right now, films to watch, books to read, music to listen to, and theres is absolutely no chance of me finding the time for those things for at least another 3 weeks. I have this week and next of school experience, and a week later I have an assignment to be submitted. It's going to be intense!

The Key To Change!

This is quite a big week for me, as I'm going to be critically observed teaching a lesson, near the end of it. I will be required to be all singing, all dancing, stimulating, motivating and entertaining, while also getting information across to the pupils. As you might guess, this will be no mean feat! I am presently working hard to try and produce a lesson with bells and whistles on it, but that in itself will not be enough, I still have to deliver it with panache, and then of course there is the one truly unpredictable factor... the kids!

In preparation for this, since there are in-sevice days today and tomorrow, I was given the opportunity to travel to another school today, and to hear from an experienced teacher, how they were getting results. This particular teacher had taken it upon themselves to completely change the way they taught, and had basically shifted then entire emphasis from themselves on to the pupils. This combined with the introduction of a competitive edge to every aspect of the work, meant that the pupils had taken repsonsibility for their own learning. The pupils operated as teams against each other, to be the best, even berrating each other for not revising! Additionally, there was a no homework policy in place. I thought "ingenious... I will steal every scrap I can from this".

I've also been considering my position vis a vis my ISP. I've been with them for 4 years now, and although I can't complain about the service, a certain other ISP is offering a much more attractive package than the one I'm currently on. So, change is imminent all around it would seem!

Borne Afar By Hercules!

We always think we're having a hard time of it, it's human nature, things could always be better, if only our luck would change. What we tend to forget, is just how desperate and often futile were the lives our ancestors lived. We may have very different backgrounds, you and I, but the likelihood is that no matter where your family originated, you can be rest assured that there was ample frustration, misery and misfortune along the years.

What has all this to do with Hercules then (as seen in the picture above)? Well, if you've followed my posts from a while back, you will know my affinity with genealogy (family history). Yes, I've done a bit of research, and even as an amateur, I now have around 11,000 individuals on my family tree. When I was at my researching peak (not working) around 2002-2003, I uploaded my tree to several major family history websites, and I've been receiving contacts from distant relatives ever since. It's a great way of expanding your family tree without doing any real work.

Wee, in a series of odd coincidences, just lately I've been receiving independent contact from several indiviuals in Australia, claiming to be related. They are indeed related. The basis of our relationship, lies in a dark passage of Scottish history, the Highland Clearances. Around about the 1850's, our mutual ancestors were living contentedly on the island of North Uist, when the landowner, the Lord of the Isles, decided to get rid of them and replace them with sheep. They were thrown out of their houses and their houses were torn down right in front of them, often at the onset of Winter.

They were then given paid passage as bonded labour, to the colonies; either Australia, New Zealand, America or Canada. In this instance, my ancestors went to America, but returned within a few years, but a large batch of their near relatives were dispatched to South Australia, onboard a ship called the "Hercules" (tenuous connection to picture established). There they married into a already well established Irish community, became Catholics themselves (of necessity) and proceeded to have enormous families in consequence. The odd thing was that I was contacted by 3 descendants of those emigrants virtually within a day of each other, purely by coincidence. Perhaps it's in vogue right now for Australians to trace their heritage. These things do seem to become popular in certain places, all of a sudden.

A Force Of Nature!

Apparently, record numbers will be leaving the UK this Winter break, seeking sunshine in distant locales. They say this every year, as though it has come as some surprise that people might prefer 2 weeks of sunshine, to darkness, rain, sleat, wind, family get-togethers and sherry. It's a no-brainer in my opinion. If you have the cash, do it! Personally I hate the long hours of darkness, I think I suffer from SAD (Sunshine... something or other disorder). It's very common in the North of Scotland. That's why people in Orkney and Shetland kill themselves more per head than anywhere else, during these long dark months.

It's not even as though we get snow anymore either. At least that cheered people up a little bit, and since it reflected back the light, it was reversing some of the effects of SAD. But we don't really get snow anymore, the weather patterns have long lost that predictability which they once had. I've heard the eldsters talking about 6 feet of snow, and I can't recall more than a few inches at best.

Perhaps you're reading this and as a resident of someplace either very hot or very cold, you might think it unacceptable for me to complain about weather which is nether here nor there, but believe me when I say that extremes are the way to go. We don't want overcast, windy and mild everyday. We want heatwaves and blizzards. That's what makes it bearable, natures fury unleashed. Well, a little bit of it anyhow, not the full whack. Couldn't have that!

Those Pesky Column-Makers!

It's extremely fortunate for you US citizens, to have a President with such great insight. Along with his Vice-President, they have realised that the last column in this picture is the most dangerous. They call this the Fifth Column, and the guys who make this particular column are called Fifth Columnists. Clearly such a column is created to undermine society, so in order to stop these Fifth Columnists, they have had to build 500 concentration camps around the country, each able to hold 5,000 individuals. There seem to be a lot of column makers going around. It only seems fair that the Vice-President award the contract to a company he has major shares in, because can anyone else really be trusted with a task of this importance?

How are they going to find these column makers then? It seems that they will take the guise of protestors against US foreign policy, otherwise known as terrorists. Certainly, speaking out against your own goverment is at best unpatriotic, but more than likely signifies your role as a collaborator. Good people will be able to express their patriotism by ensuring that their unpatriotic neighbours are consigned to these concentration camps, for the good of all.

It might be necessary to establish Martial Law at this point, because the President has taken steps to ensure that the Constitution will pose no barrier to his ruling the country forever, in the case of a national emergency. The Fifth Columnists will have aligned themselves with nationals from countries where there's oil, hoping to get themselves invaded so that the oil can be taken forcibly from them. If this happens then the President will control the World, unless of course he stops China or Russia from getting the supplies they require. If it gets to that point, don't worry, because your great leader will have the answer to avoiding Armageddon. Apparently he talks to God on a regular basis!

Talented Yet Anonymous!

I can't allow it, no I'm afraid I just can't stand by and do nothing while some anonymous person sits in his bedroom and plays guitar like this. It's a shocking indictment of society, if a guy like this isn't performing to sellout stadiums, rather than a handycam in his bedsit. You know what I'm talking about. He's not anorexic, so he can't sell records. Yes, we know the mentality of the recording industry, less about talent and all about appearances. Remember the Screaming Trees. They were a great band, some fabulous songs. They never ever signed to a major, even when Grunge was at it's zenith, because there were 2 "big" guys in the band.

So forgive me if I'm less than sympathetic to the current plight of the recording industry. They had their day, they made a lot of money, and they treated us like dirt. Well, now the boot's on the other foot, they've had the control taken away from them, their dictatorial rants are falling on deaf ears. Me, I'd be quite happy to place my cash straight into the hands of the artist. That doesn't please the record comapanies though. They want to be needed, they need to be wanted.

Well, they have no-one to blame but themselves. Taking your best customers to court, isn't the best way to future-proof your business. I know, because I've actually done a research project on this, and the hard facts state that people who "illegally" download music are by far the biggest consumers anyway. Conclusively therefore, illegal downloading was never the problem it was made out to be. The failure of the recording industry to accept change and their inability to drastically change their business model, these are the roots from which the crisis in the music industry has grown.

Dirty Old Men!

Unfortunately, if you're not a UK resident, it's unlikely that you will have heard of "Time Team", but I will still make this interesting, despite the fact that I'll be talking about a long running British show, which involves old men in shorts clawing in the dirt for fragments of pottery. You see, the Time Team arrive in some quiet village where there is good reason to believe that there was an ancient settlement. In fact they know that there was a settlement and where it was as well. But then they dig there. They have 3 days to find out as much as they can. So far so good.

Not this week though. The Time Team were in Normandy, following the exploits of the 1st Dorset Regiment during D-Day, World War II. My first problem with this is, it just wasn't that long ago was it? They even had one of the old soldiers with them to make it more plausible. The excavations would look at German positions taken by that regiment during D-Day.

Here's my second problem. Prior to D-Day, Hitler had the foresight to send some crack young soldiers to bolster the older gentlemen manning the defences, because clearly they would have cracked early in the day otherwise. British intelligence found out about this move, but kept it from the men for fear it would reduce morale. So, the British are heading up through a field to take a position on the ridge, when they were opened up on from the front and side by hidden German machine-gun emplacements. They were fairly decimated in this attack, which I assume might have sapped their morale slightly more than had they known what to expect.

Never mind. The Dorsets won the day and those men made a glorious sacrifice to capture what Time Team referred to as an unfinished anti-tank gun emplacement, that would have wrought heavy damage on the British forces, had it been completed.

The Magnum Special!

What could be more thrilling than a "Magnum" ride? My recollection is that it was Magnum P.I. and that he was as hairy as a man should ever be! Didn't he have a butler as well? I'm sure it would be far more exciting than an "A-Team" ride, well possibly not more exciting, but certainly more sophisticated. It's hard to think of "The Face" from the A-Team as anything more than a poor man's Magnum isn't it? Anyway, the A-Team never killed anyone, but Magnum could have if he'd had to. There was never any suggestion that he couldn't kill, he just didn't have to. Whereas, the A-Team had to, but didn't in order to prove that they hadn't killed the guys that they were supposedly framed for killing.

I think "Murdoch" probably killed them, and because he was such a nut-job didn't even know he'd done it. That might explain where the misunderstanding came about concerning who might have killed who. If Murdoch had received electro-shock therapy earlier in the day, all that nastiness might have been avoided, and the A-Team wouldn't have been reduced from an elite combat unit, to a mobile, mercenary, domestic problem-solving, bunch of losers.

Were they ever reconciled with top brass? I don't remember, and wonder very much if I'd actually cared in the first place. Anyway, a "Fall Guy" fairground ride, now that would be the ultimate. The Fall Guy was one of those shows which I tried hard not to like, but just couldn't help liking. Lee Majors was so personable, it was impossible not to be taken in by his wry grin. Anyway, I wonder where in the World this Magnum ride is located, I would guess Florida, maybe California. Answers in writing to; PO Box 115, Magnum Ride Location, Ulan Bator, Outer Mongolia.

Not With This Tide!

I had a bit of a nightmare this afternoon. It's the first time I've had any real bother with pupils, and I found some of them real heavy going. What made things so difficult was that I was doing some marking for the first time. I had to talk through their work with puils who had finished certain topics and it was during this time that the pupils started getting rowdy. I can see that a couple of individuals are going to have to be taken in hand.

I know I need to get tough with some of this lot. maybe I'll have to transfer someone out of the class as a warning message to the rest of them, although I'll take no pleasure in it. But, if they carry on like today, next time I see them, I'm afraid I'll have no option but to take some sort of action, because they think that getting away with it once is a signal that they can do it all the time. Probably because we're talking about older pupils here. The younger ones generally do what they're told. I dread to think what some of this lot get up to at the weekend.

I watched "My Boy Jack" last night with Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) in it. True story, although I did find it pretty depressing. But, I've heard worse stories. This old guy I used to work for told me about how 15 young men set off from the village of Spey Bay to fight in the Great War. Only one of them ever returned. That must have been all of the young men from that village, as it's very small. Another story recanted how a woman had 3 sons off fighting. The sons were married to women from different villages, and on one particular day, the wives of all 3 men arrived at their mother-in-law's to inform her of their husbands deaths. That's right, she heard of her sons deaths, the three of them in one day. A bit like Saving Private Ryan, only true!

Lest We Ever Forget!

Remembrance Sunday again! I suppose the main thing to consider today is that somewhere (probably dry and dusty) young men are still giving their lives needlessly. I know that it's a day which is supposed to represent the loss of men and indeed women in all conflicts, but in my own mind, I just can't see past the First World War!

I have an attachment to it in many ways because my paternal Great Grandfather (who actually raised my father) was at Flanders, and took part in that last Great Cavalry Charge at Ypes, ordered by none other than Douglas Haig. My Gt Grandfather charged the German machine-guns on horseback, armed with (wait for it), a lance. Yes, you read right, he was armed with a lance. How he survived we'll never know, because he never told the tale. His reward for serving his country, well like most other sevicemen, I believe he found that there was no hero's welcome. He was never able to retain the position he had beforehand, and ended up doing labouring work.

This is my beef with the Earl Haig fund, the poppies they sell in the memory of fallen soldiers. The fact that Earl Haig was responsible for so many of their deaths. The phrase "Lions led by donkeys" was never more apt that when applied to him. Perhaps if he had gotten the opportunity to redeem himself like Monty did (you want to know what Monty did before he led the Desert Rats, then do some research yourself. It should be easy enough), then my image of him would be somewhat different, but I just can't abide the man's name being associated with the First World War in a charitable way, as though he never had all that blood on his hands.

The Agony and the Egg-city!

Don't ask me how, and definitely don't as me why, but somebody spent a great deal of time and effort constructing this entire miniature city from eggs. I could do a little research and give you some hard facts and figure about this, but sometimes things are just better left unexplained. For instance, I see from the pictures that the eggs are stacked on top of each other, which must have required a ridiculous amount of patience and skill. Also, what's going on with the flooring in this building? It looks awful.


You really would have to be walking on egg-shells at this exhibition wouldn't you? Not literally though, as you'd probably be thrown out, and the guards would smash your albumen-like teeth in. There would be yoke running down the street. They'd make you eat your own intestines like a battery-fed hen. Alright, maybe that's going a bit too far with the egg jokes, but I couldn't resist. I'm sure you understand!

The Wheel Broken At the Cistern!

Am I not good to you. I, being not a religious man, but being fairly well aware what constitutes a piece of good writing and what doesn't, bring to you this chapter from the Bible. That's not for me you might say, but wait. If the whole good book is a waste of paper, then this one chapter is definitely a keeper. I'll let you read it first, and even though you might know of it already, I'm doubtful whether you truly understand what it's about. That's because it's allegory, and it was crafted by a master wordsmith!

Ecclesiastes
OR, THE PREACHER - 12

1 Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them;

2 while the sun, or the light, or the moon, or the stars, be not darkened, nor the clouds return after the rain:

3 in the day when the keepers of the house shall tremble, and the strong men shall bow themselves, and the grinders cease because they are few, and those that look out of the windows be darkened,

4 and the doors shall be shut in the streets, when the sound of the grinding is low, and he shall rise up at the voice of the bird, and all the daughters of music shall be brought low;

5 also when they shall be afraid of that which is high, and fears shall be in the way, and the almond tree shall flourish, and the grasshopper shall be a burden, and desire shall fail: because man goeth to his long home, and the mourners go about the streets:

6 or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern.

7 Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.

Now I'm trying to recall this from memory, as I can't locate a clearer explanation on the Net than the one that was give to me many years ago. The whole passage is an allegory on the failings of old age. Let me just point out these thoughts to you, then read it through again, you'll see what I mean:

• For keepers of the house, think "arms"
• The strong men shall bow themselves, think of "legs and back"
• For grinders, think "teeth"
• For windows, substitute "eyes"
• Doors shut in the streets - "hearing"
• Sound of the grinding is low - "the voice"
• For golden bowl, "the skull"
• The pitcher, "blood"
• The wheel at the cistern, "the heart"
• Man's long home is "the grave"

I might have erred on some of these points, but the allegory of death is so powerful, you can see why the Freemasons place such value on this passage. When you think how long ago this must have been written, whoever wrote it and whatever their message, it is indeed a wonderfully written allegorical piece.

A Banana Boat To Britain!

Well, I've heard about this sort of thing before, but this is the first time I've seen conclusive photographic evidence. What happens is this : Money changes hands and the bananas are loaded onto a ship destined to take them to a new life in Europe. More than likely they want to go to the UK. Things get confused during the dangerous sea crossing and the handlers begin to get fed up with the constant demands coming from the bananas. Before they know where they're at, the bananas are tossed over the side, and wash up dead on the seashore.

It's a terrible story, but these things really happen everyday. The dream of a better life shattered suddenly at the hands of unscupulous individuals. These people shouldn't be able to get away with it. Look how many innocent bananas perished in this particular instance, and it didn't even make mainstream news. It' s almost as though nobody cares. They just turn a blind eye to the problem and hope it'll go away. Well it won't go away. What will it take before people sit up and notice?

Maybe it's just beacause people lack respect for bananas, they see them as some sort of Third World fruit. If it was Kiwi fruit it would be a different story, since the Kiwis come from a Commonwealth country. The loss of thousands of Kiwis in one go, and these fruit smuggling gangs would be shutdown overnight, there's nothing more certain. It's time someone stood up to this shameful fruit prejudice and put a stop to the illegal banana trafficking!

The Bonfire Of the Nanny State!

Well, I completely missed Bonfire night this year, given what I've gotten myself into. I did spot the odd firework, but I just wasn't feeling it I'm afraid. It's a shame really, because it's only a matter of time before the Local Authorities start preventing people from having them altogether. You know, Health and Safety, the strain it places on the fire service. All that nonsense! The World's going to hell in a handcart, at least that would be the case if handcarts still existed hereabouts. Those would be a health hazard, anywhere outside of South East Asia.

Do people still burn a guy on the bonfire? Do they even realise what it signifies? The fact that he represents the man who had the greatest and most audacious idea for a plot ever, in the history of the World, except that it was a set up. To think that they were going to get rid of the royals, the politicians and the church leaders in one fell swoop. Now that's a masterplan that even a Bond villain would think twice about undertaking.

It's all a moot point really, as Fawkes was not burned at the stake, but was sentenced to be hung, drawn and quartered. Fawkes even managed to escape the worst of it, by jumping from the scaffold and snapping his neck. The drawing bit was barbaric in the extreme and that's a fact. A wise man to avoid giving that sadistic pleasure to his captors!

The Two Towers!

Can you believe it? This church steeple from the village of Suurhusen in Northern Germany, has only gone and knocked the Leaning Tower of Pisa off it's slot as the most leaning building in the World. Now officially recognised by the Guniness Book of Records, the steeple which was added to the main building in 1450 is the new record holder. Owing to the use of wooden foundations the steeple has progressively leaned since building, although it has been stable since 1996 apparently. It is leaning considerably more than the Pisan tower, as you can plainly see from the photo!

I'm a bit miffed, because one of my very few claims to fame is the fact that I've been up to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I'm well aware that for quite a while, people weren't allowed up the tower, because of safety concerns. I'm damn sure I'm not going to Germany to go up some church steeple, but it has got me thinking, just how many people will travel there from far and wide, just so they can claim they've been up it? They'd better start making the models right now!

Like I told you a few days back, I'm only 2 days into the teaching experience and already I'm finding it difficult to think about anything other than lesson plans and what I should be saying to them during the direct teaching component of the lesson. I woke up at 6 this morning and that was me. Once my brain starts ticking, it just won't stop again till night. More teaching stuff to follow, I'm sure. I'll try not to, but it could be difficult!

I Made It Back Alive!

I'd never stood in front of 20 kids before and talked to them about computing, but I have now. It's started, but there's a long way to go. I won't say I wasn't nervous, of course I was, but I didn't let them see it, apparently if they smell fear, they'll tear you limb from limb. Still, I've survived, even though I was pretty much thrown straight into it. That's probably the best way. The teacher even left the class, almost straight away, and somehow I got through it unscathed.

I'm not saying it went perfectly, because it didn't. Some of the pupils were talking and I had a job getting them to quieten down. I also need to use my voice to much greater effect in future, that much I sussed out for myself. I've got a load more lessons lined up anyhow. Things are really going to start piling up on me very quickly over the next few weeks, that's for sure.

Good TV last night, with Top Gear once again showing us how easily the BBC can spend our money, dragging the team out to Botswana to race 3 second-hand cars across the country, through a massive salt-pan, which no-one has been stupid enpugh to cross before, then at break-neck speed through a game reserve. All quite ridiculous and clearly costing a king's ransom, but never the less, compelling viewing. Some people hate it, they told me so. That's their God-given right I suppose. Me, I like it!

Sunburn Of A Cluttered Mind!

I finally had the opportunity yesterday to watch the film "Sunshine", which given my recent lamenting over the demise of Sci-fi in general, was most welcome viewing. Although I'm well aware that the film probably borrowed heavily from several other Sci-fi films I've seen (I'm thinking; Space Odyssey: 2001, Event Horizon, Alien, Solaris etc.), I have a sneaking suspicion that it was more of a homage to those films rather than outright copying. Anyhow, I had seen mixed reviews, but the trailer looked really good, so I can inform you that the film was definitely worth the watching, with a good blend of action and suspense.

So, tomorrow is a big day for me. My first day teaching, although I'm not sure just how much teaching I'll get to do, but after this it's going to ramp up sharply too 13.5 hours per week, by the fourth week. What I'm trying to tell you is that I might not have much time to post here over the next four weeks, ot at least not to the standard you might have come to expect. Well, I'll do my best, but I have voluminous amounts of paperwork to prepare, so just be warned. It's quite annoying really, because I like to put a little bit of thought into my posts, but I'll have nothing but teaching in my head for the forseeable future. Perhaps some ideas will spill out from the classroom, let's wait and see!

A Picture Tells A 1000 Words!

Yes, it's true, my generosity knows no bounds, in seeking out for you, such images as I hope will provide you with a great deal of pleasure in beholding! For, yes it's as they say "Seeing is believing", and the following images have a common theme, there must have been a rather interesting build-up to the event. The nature of that build-up is left to your imagination... enjoy!

Oh, and about that Dragonfruit thing, it did taste a little bit like Kiwi fruit, only decidedly more watery and without the sweetness. In fact it was rather bland. You wouldn't want to eat a whole one, or indeed find yourself in a situation where your very survivial relied on consuming an abundance of them. Still, to put it into context, Ive tasted worse! And, so have you!

Enter the Dragonfruit!

Feeling rather spontaneous this morning, and having spotted this bizarre looking creature (see photo) in the fruit & veg aisle of Asda's, I went ahead and bought myself a pair of the strange looking Dragonfruit things. You should realise if you're reading this and wondering why I haven't had any before, just let me point out that these are alien to Scotland, I've never seen them before, and the price reflected that! I wouldn't have bothered if I hadn't read a small note at the side which claimed they were similar to Kiwi fruit in taste. That claim will shortly be put to the test and I'll let you know the results tomorrow. Suffice to say, the images I've seen of the inside cause me to doubt the veracity of the Kiwi claim.

Also this morning, we managed to pick up a few early Chrismas presents, mainly toys for nieces and nephews, God knows what our kids will be getting. Unfortunately, my daughter also informed me at lunchtime, that while looking for batteries, she found a receipt from Toys R'Us with all her Christmas presents from last year on it. She's a smart cookie, so as of now, Santa is officially dead in this house, I'm afraid. Ah well, he had a good run.

Anyway, at this rate, Labour will have Christmas abolished in this country. They've had a think-tank spewing out nonsense such as:

• Let's call it Winterval instead of Christmas
• Put Holiday Greetings instead of Best Wishes on your Christmas cards
• Let's celebrate the holidays of other religions than Christinanity, with just as much relish

All of this is aimed at making the soaring numbers of immigrants feel more welcome when they get here. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against immigrants, but there has to be a limit. Besides which, surely preaching tolerance and integration should be directed at them. not at us, we're not the ones starting a new life abroad. And if the roles were reversed, we wouldn't expect them to change for us. That would be ridiculous. Anyway, I've never heard of any immigrant coming to this countrty and complaining about Christmas, they're not bothered in the slightest. But, these people who clearly know nothing about foreign cultures, deem it in everyone's best interest, for us to change our whole way of life to suit. It just ain't gonna happen! I embrace foreign culture, they've got as lot to offer, but what's so wrong with our own culture, that we should change?

A Truly Haunting Experience!

Talk about the scariest night of the year! Last night, I had all these things planned, that I was going to get done, seeing I had that time available. Oh no, my wife decided she was going to some kickboxing aerobics thing at 5.45 pm. I was to dish out sweets, monkey nuts, lollipops and so on to the kids that came to the door. I realised quite quickly that this could develop into something akin to a living nightmare and pleaded with her not to go, but her heart was cold, bah!

In all my years I've never seen so many trick-or-treaters, and they were coming mob-handed, sometimes up to 8 at a time. Before I knew it, I was running out of stuff. This was very slightly exacerbated by my indulging myself in the sweets after each party of kids had been seen off. I only had a dozen or so chews... bah, are you trying to make me feel fat?

Speaking of fat, having finished Uni early today, I caught the train at 1.10 pm, thinking that there would be lots of seats, and I could relax and enjoy my packed lunch on the train. Meh, folied again, there were just enough seats and no more. I got a seat at a table, then the guy across from me pulled out a laptop. This was going to make lunching difficult. Next thing, this big (read fat for big... very) guy comes on to the train, obviously having had to dash for it (he was reeking of B.O.). He sat next to me, squashing me up, and stinking as I said. So, not only couldn't I have my lunch, but I'd lost my appetite too. He had his though (lunch and appetite). He'd came on with three bags of stuff, and the biggest bag contained his lunch. He was putting the grub away like there was no tomorrow. I love taking the train!