Ticket To the Limit One More Time!

Treated myself to a mince and onion bridie from the bakers for lunch today! Absolutely love them with baked beans and tomato sauce. I just load the whole lot on to the plate and mix it all up into mush, then devour. Some people might consider that kind of sick, but I can assure you it's lovely. You just don't know until you try.

Also, happened to chance upon my Radiohead ticket stub from the AEC - 1st December 2003. I've been trying to find that for the last year or so with no joy, then happened to find it while looking for something else. Isn't that always the way? Reminds me of when I used to work for Riddoch's. A co-worker of mine, "M**e S***h" (Name altered for privacy, but it's the same as a BBC radio 1 DJ from the 80's who was in a helicopter crash with his girlfriend Sarah Greene!) was a huge Bon Jovi fan. I'm talking 97 here I think. Anyway, I told him about the time I went to see them at the SECC in Glasgow in 1989, how they were at their peak and so on. He absolutely refused to believe me, even when I showed him the stub for the concert. Ah well!

Back to the bridie, it was lovely as I said, but then again I do like my food. It's my only vice really and it's not really a vice since eating is essential to survive, so I may as well enjoy it IMO. That said, I'm feeling really unfit right now, three years at College does that to a man. I'm hoping that Uni will at least allow me to get some exercise, albeit little, other than that I may have to resort to, heaven forbid.... dieting! No.............. !

The Not-So Phantom Menace!

We've got a real gull menace here right now! What do I mean by menace? Well every time we go out the door we get dive-bombed by the rats with wings. There's a mother gull across the road with 2 chicks, both bigger than her, and she's diving at anything and anyone that moves. It wouldn't be a big problem if it was the only one, but they're all over the town.

I have a theory about why there's been a marked increase in the seagull presence in this town and most other coastal towns. It goes something like this: The fishing industry used to be massive and the seagull population feasted on the residual matter (ie. fish guts and offal) from the fishing. On this basis a large seagull population was tolerable, especially as they were not living in the towns, but usually in cliff colonies etc. With the decline in the fishing industry, these gull colonies have had to find alternative sources of food and being lazy vermin, discarded human food waste is the easiest option. So the gulls nest in the towns where the food is most easily obtained to feed their chicks.

Of course, a massive nationwide cull is required, but it'll never happen because the do-gooders would never permit it, they are living creatures after all. We're such a nation of bleeding hearts! Fortunately, the chicks across the road should soon be ready to leave, but something tells me they'll be back again next year. Creatures of habit and all that!

Learn To Fly!

Yes, hooray, the kids are back at school! Now I can furtively sneak a shot on their PS2 and no-one need be any the wiser. Unfortunately for me, I only have a week in which I'll be able to do so, for as of next Monday, it's back to school for me too. Well, not school, Uni, but within several weeks I will indeed be at school. Yes, that's right, they don't hang about with this teacher training malarkey. Five or six weeks training and then I'll be unleashed on some secondary school somewhere.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what this course is going to consist of; lectures... check! essays... check! classroom time... check! How exactly I'm supposed to learn how to become a teacher I'm not sure. Then of course there's the small issue of what the hell am I going to be teaching? Computing obviously, but it's quite a big subject area when you look at it as a whole. Then there's pitching lessons at the right level for the right classes.

I have also been informed that a considerable portion of a teacher's time is spent planning lessons. A lesson plan must be created covering duration, equipment, type of learning exercise... and innumerabe other factors which must also be considered. Yep, teaching looks quite easy from a spectators point of view, but I'm certain that it will be pretty hard work, at least to begin with.

The Great Glen Of Approval!

I hear that a great travesty is yet again to be foisted upon the people of Scotland and mainly because it's been done many times before and we took it. So we'll take it again and just like before it will then be rolled out to the rest of the UK. I can only hope that since we have a nationalist party in power in this country, that on this occasion they'll tell Westminster where to stick it.

I know I'm being elusive so far, but what I'm talking about here is ID Cards. Just as Poll Tax and the Smoking Ban were tried out in Scotland first, rumour abounds that the ID Card will come to us first. I know that other countries already have ID card schemes in operation, But in our case as with the US, the ID card will only be a small part in a much larger surrender of civil liberties and of course terrorism is the stick with which they'll beat us in to acceptance.

I read that the Scottish Labour Executive brought in legislation (either section 52 or section 57, can't be certain) over 2 years ago, which basically allows them to keep personal details on every Scots person, and I mean every detail; bank, health, employment, property, criminal... everything! Of course, any vigilant person will notic that President Bush has also just recently awarded himself the same powers, although he's been collecting info since 2001.

The question of course is what will they do with that info? Well, they really want to bring in ID cards, so that they can tie your personal details to a biological data bank. Once they have all that on you, they will be able to crush you instantaneously if required. It could be for something as trivial as attending an anti-government demonstration. The way the laws are being shaped right now, something like that could brand you as unpatriotic, anarchic and a terrorist. Of course, terrorist suspects can be held for a long time without being charged, and they could do that again and again. That's where we're heading, don't think they care about you, you're just a number, a statistic, and if you become a negative statistic then you will serve no purpose for them any longer!

When The Music's Over!

Yep, the party's over! I wasn't too drunk and I'm not too hungover either. I am of course talking about my Mother-in-law's 60th Birthday Party, which was held in the local social club last night. I did consider taking the camera, but then I thought "You know what, I can't be arsed, I'll just scoop it back instead!", so no incriminating photos. You would have liked that wouldn't you?

There was a real eclectic mix of people though, which was good. Most bizarre moment for me, came when my father took my mother's friend up to dance to "Sympathy For the Devil"! You wouldn't see anything odd about that, but let me put it into context for you. My mother and her friend are more than slightly religious and any mention of the devil would more than likely send either of them off on one. Also, my father is in no way whatsoever religious, so on this occasion may have been representative of the horned one himself. But of course, none of them knew what the song was anyway, so I permitted myself a little chuckle at their expense of course.

The weather was atrocious here last night though and we had to walk home in the rain and wind. I always like to walk home after drinking, it clears my head and sobers me up, so I don't go to bed with my head spinning. That's a sure fire recipe for barfarama! I don't know why but I seem to have dyslexic typing skills today, I think I'm still slightly intoxicated!

The Importance Of Being Occupied!

Sometime back I realised that there is a trait common to all my family, or at least my father, myself, my brother and my two kids. The fact is that all of us are unable to sit for any length of time doing nothing. We need to be occupied all the time, but it gets worse. I first noticed in myself and now see it in the rest of my family, that we also don't like to be doing one particular thing for too long either. That is, we rapidly lose interst in something, and divert our attention elsewhere.

Obviously, this characteristic is a double-edged sword. Doing something is clearly more productive in doing nothing and my brain needs constant stimulation, that much is true. However, when placed in a working environment, particularly where a large degree of repetitive behaviour was required... well, you can imagine how claustraphobic I felt. The only real surprise was that I stuck it for so long. That was because I had a family! When I was single and with no committments, I found it very difficult to see things through, but I've trained myself now I believe, to do what I have to do!

Yes, it's not easy when you need constant mental stimulation and this trait becomes even more apparent when on holiday. I find sitting at the pool or on the beach, almost akin to mental torture. Two hours on a deck-chair without a book or magazine and I'm crawling up the walls. I just hope that teaching will bring me the sort of challenge and fulfillment I need!

Comic Genius!

As a child growing up in the late 70's - early 80's, there was one absolute requirement for mind fodder. I'm referring of course to comic books. My first ever encounter with comic books was when I bought the first issue of a comic called "Speed". I was totally enthralled. As the name suggests, all of the stories were centred around the theme of speed. Google tells me that the date of issue was in fact 22nd Feb 1980, so I was 9 years old at the time, an impressionable age.

Eventually, Speed joined with Tiger and then it just became Tiger. Unfortunately Tiger just wasn't so good as Speed, so I bailed out. My next comic was to be "Scream", which was also excellent, although again obvious from the title, featured horror stories. Unfortunately, Scream only lasted for about 20 issues, so I tried The Beano for a while, but it was too childish for my liking.

I hit a bit of a comic void after that, although I did purchase quite a few issues of "Commando", because all my Grandparents had played their part in WWII, and I'd heard many tales about that and felt it was my duty to educate myself about the war in the best way possible, ie. by comic-strip.

The last comic I was to purchase and which I bought without fail through the best part of the 80's, was 2000AD. What a fantastic comic that was! Offering both tantalising glimpses of the future and of the past, other worlds, technology and humour. My favourite characters were Slaine, Rogue Trooper, Ace Garp and Nemesis. Surprisingly, I've seen many of the ideas from 2000AD come to fruition and I'm sure many more will. I guess I stopped buying comics (except Viz maybe) when I got a job. Reality has a harsh way of crushing your imagination doesn't it? Not that my imagination has gone altogether, I still read a lot of books just to keep my mind ticking over nicely, but I require stimulation intelectually on several levels, so it's rare that a book ticks all the required boxes for me.

Jack In the Box!

I couldn't help but laugh at the news last night, not that it's a laughing matter really, but you can't help but appreciate how naive our Ex-First Minister really is. Yes, Scotland's Labour Party Leader Jack McConnell has resigned. He was First Minister for more than 5 years. He used to be a teacher too, but unfortunately what he possesses in good intentions, he completely lacks in foresight. Not only that, he just won't take good advice when given.

What am I getting at? Well, the word is, that McConnell is going to undertake some voluntary work for a charity, before taking up the post of British High Commissioner to Malawi. So, what's so funny you ask? If indeed you don't know, I'll spell it out for you. McConnell visited Malawi for 5 days back in 2005 and was so deeply moved by his visit that he decided to set up a fundraising drive, despite a warning from Scots based charities that the public would view it as no longer necessary for them to give money to organisations raising money for Malawi.

Jack was determined though, he would give £3 million a year to Malawi, it was his personal crusade. And, hadn't he promised those kids in Malawi that he would help them? So, the money was sent off to Malawi, although Jack was warned that it was highly likely that government officials in Malawi would steal the cash, because Malawi was on the UN blacklist for aid. The people who needed the help wouldn't get it. "Oh no", said Jack, "that won't happen, I can assure you!" But, of course that's exactly what happened, the money was sent and those who were waiting for it are still waiting. Did Jack apologise? No, he's not sorry, far from it, it seems to have made him even more determined to do something. So, just like Tony becoming the UK's peace envoy to the Middle East, Jack is also set to make some money from the scene of his biggest crime. It seems that there are no punishments for political misdemeanours, just a sliding reward scale.

On a lighter note, the Mother-in-law is 60 today, so we're taking her out for a meal tonight, with a big party on Saturday. Should be interesting, I'll keep you posted on my disgusting drunken behaviour to follow.

Don't Believe the Hype!

The more observant among you may have noticed my new blog banner upon your disembarkation at this URL. The less observant will wonder what the hell I'm twittering on about this time. Last week I had a carrier bag of dvds thrust upon me and over the last few days I've just about managed to find the time to watch a few of them. So, for your benefit I will now give you the low-down on the following films:

• The Illusionist
• Blood Diamond
• Casino Royale

The Illusionist starring Ed Norton first. I thought this would be my cup of tea when I first saw the trailer for it, and I was right. Thought provoking, clever and with an excellent plot flow. The plot flow part, you might notice is something I've been critical of in several films recently, not least Harry Potter and the Order Of the Pheonix. More to follow!

Blood Diamond was pretty much what I expected really. A pretty decent film looking at the artocities in Sierra Leone (although violence seems to abound all over Africa), but judging by the news I've seen over recent years, it's a lot worse than that. Fairly decent performance by DiCaprio, yet I can't help thinking that he's a little too boyish looking for this role. Worth seeing if you still think that diamonds are a girls best friend!

Casino Royale, pah! I'd heard that this was the best Bond film since Connery was 007. Wrong! There's a great series of stunts at the start where 007 is chasing some guy through a building site, up cranes and stuff, but then it fails to say why he was chasing him. Unfortunately, it only gets worse. Bond seems to globe-trot through the film with little explanation of why he's doing so and despite the lovely scenery (Venice and Lake Como), I can assure you that sailing a yacht into Venice and up the Grand Canal on a whim is highly unlikely to be permitted. The ending was pretty naff too. I hear that the Daniel Craig love interest in the next film is to be played by Shilpa Shetty. Oh, please! Come off it!

Besides the dvds, I finally had a chance to go and see Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End! Since the last POTC film was a major disappointment, I had hoped they would have turned it around with this one, but no, wrong again. It was awful! Some of the major plot features were simply giant steaming turds, nice special effects, but just ridiculous concepts. The storyline was fairly flimsy too, and the film went on way too long (nearly 3 hours of dross). Apparently Johnny Depp wants to reprise the role, so that means there will be more, but not for me, I've had my fill I'm afraid!

False Memory Syndrome?

Someone in my family is suffering from "False Memory Syndrome" and I'm fairly sure it isn't me! My brother increasingly diverges in his versions of events which occured in our childhood, from the manner in which I recall those same events. It's been going on for the last few years and it's getting to the stage where he's trying to convince me that I'm the one who can't remember, when I know damn well my recollections are accurate.

However, he does suffer from bizzare dreams, which he then ties to real events. In other words, he thinks he's prophetic. So clearly, in my opinion, someone who intertwines dreams with reality in such a way, is far more likely to recall real events other than they actually happened.

For instance, I related to him certain things a family member had done (nothing too sinister I assure you), and his response was that he couldn't believe that such a person would have done those things. Fair enough. He clearly saw this person in a different light from me, but that was because he couldn't be objective, having a closer realtionship with that person than I have. So far, it's all fairly comprehensible, but then he took it up a notch.

I was talking about something that happened to me when I was younger, some major event, and he said that it had happened differently. I told him he couldn't possibly know because he wasn't there. His reply was that he was definitely there, it was me that wasn't there, and he was adamant about it. I was dumbfounded by this. It seems to me that he'd heard this story I'd probably talked about many times, and somehow made himself into the main protagonist. I guess my vivid description had allowed it to happen. That and his susceptibility to mental suggestion. I wonder if this is how False Memory Syndrome works? That combined with several obssessive compulsive behaviours he displays, suggests to me that it is indeed!