Jack In the Box!

I couldn't help but laugh at the news last night, not that it's a laughing matter really, but you can't help but appreciate how naive our Ex-First Minister really is. Yes, Scotland's Labour Party Leader Jack McConnell has resigned. He was First Minister for more than 5 years. He used to be a teacher too, but unfortunately what he possesses in good intentions, he completely lacks in foresight. Not only that, he just won't take good advice when given.

What am I getting at? Well, the word is, that McConnell is going to undertake some voluntary work for a charity, before taking up the post of British High Commissioner to Malawi. So, what's so funny you ask? If indeed you don't know, I'll spell it out for you. McConnell visited Malawi for 5 days back in 2005 and was so deeply moved by his visit that he decided to set up a fundraising drive, despite a warning from Scots based charities that the public would view it as no longer necessary for them to give money to organisations raising money for Malawi.

Jack was determined though, he would give £3 million a year to Malawi, it was his personal crusade. And, hadn't he promised those kids in Malawi that he would help them? So, the money was sent off to Malawi, although Jack was warned that it was highly likely that government officials in Malawi would steal the cash, because Malawi was on the UN blacklist for aid. The people who needed the help wouldn't get it. "Oh no", said Jack, "that won't happen, I can assure you!" But, of course that's exactly what happened, the money was sent and those who were waiting for it are still waiting. Did Jack apologise? No, he's not sorry, far from it, it seems to have made him even more determined to do something. So, just like Tony becoming the UK's peace envoy to the Middle East, Jack is also set to make some money from the scene of his biggest crime. It seems that there are no punishments for political misdemeanours, just a sliding reward scale.

On a lighter note, the Mother-in-law is 60 today, so we're taking her out for a meal tonight, with a big party on Saturday. Should be interesting, I'll keep you posted on my disgusting drunken behaviour to follow.

Don't Believe the Hype!

The more observant among you may have noticed my new blog banner upon your disembarkation at this URL. The less observant will wonder what the hell I'm twittering on about this time. Last week I had a carrier bag of dvds thrust upon me and over the last few days I've just about managed to find the time to watch a few of them. So, for your benefit I will now give you the low-down on the following films:

• The Illusionist
• Blood Diamond
• Casino Royale

The Illusionist starring Ed Norton first. I thought this would be my cup of tea when I first saw the trailer for it, and I was right. Thought provoking, clever and with an excellent plot flow. The plot flow part, you might notice is something I've been critical of in several films recently, not least Harry Potter and the Order Of the Pheonix. More to follow!

Blood Diamond was pretty much what I expected really. A pretty decent film looking at the artocities in Sierra Leone (although violence seems to abound all over Africa), but judging by the news I've seen over recent years, it's a lot worse than that. Fairly decent performance by DiCaprio, yet I can't help thinking that he's a little too boyish looking for this role. Worth seeing if you still think that diamonds are a girls best friend!

Casino Royale, pah! I'd heard that this was the best Bond film since Connery was 007. Wrong! There's a great series of stunts at the start where 007 is chasing some guy through a building site, up cranes and stuff, but then it fails to say why he was chasing him. Unfortunately, it only gets worse. Bond seems to globe-trot through the film with little explanation of why he's doing so and despite the lovely scenery (Venice and Lake Como), I can assure you that sailing a yacht into Venice and up the Grand Canal on a whim is highly unlikely to be permitted. The ending was pretty naff too. I hear that the Daniel Craig love interest in the next film is to be played by Shilpa Shetty. Oh, please! Come off it!

Besides the dvds, I finally had a chance to go and see Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End! Since the last POTC film was a major disappointment, I had hoped they would have turned it around with this one, but no, wrong again. It was awful! Some of the major plot features were simply giant steaming turds, nice special effects, but just ridiculous concepts. The storyline was fairly flimsy too, and the film went on way too long (nearly 3 hours of dross). Apparently Johnny Depp wants to reprise the role, so that means there will be more, but not for me, I've had my fill I'm afraid!

False Memory Syndrome?

Someone in my family is suffering from "False Memory Syndrome" and I'm fairly sure it isn't me! My brother increasingly diverges in his versions of events which occured in our childhood, from the manner in which I recall those same events. It's been going on for the last few years and it's getting to the stage where he's trying to convince me that I'm the one who can't remember, when I know damn well my recollections are accurate.

However, he does suffer from bizzare dreams, which he then ties to real events. In other words, he thinks he's prophetic. So clearly, in my opinion, someone who intertwines dreams with reality in such a way, is far more likely to recall real events other than they actually happened.

For instance, I related to him certain things a family member had done (nothing too sinister I assure you), and his response was that he couldn't believe that such a person would have done those things. Fair enough. He clearly saw this person in a different light from me, but that was because he couldn't be objective, having a closer realtionship with that person than I have. So far, it's all fairly comprehensible, but then he took it up a notch.

I was talking about something that happened to me when I was younger, some major event, and he said that it had happened differently. I told him he couldn't possibly know because he wasn't there. His reply was that he was definitely there, it was me that wasn't there, and he was adamant about it. I was dumbfounded by this. It seems to me that he'd heard this story I'd probably talked about many times, and somehow made himself into the main protagonist. I guess my vivid description had allowed it to happen. That and his susceptibility to mental suggestion. I wonder if this is how False Memory Syndrome works? That combined with several obssessive compulsive behaviours he displays, suggests to me that it is indeed!

My Life In Music!

Yes, I'm going to lay my soul bare about the music that has influenced and affected me so far in my life. Why? I'm not sure, just what was in my head when I stepped up to the terminal. I was going to denegrate modern music seeing that I've already expounded on the failings of modern telvision and gaming, but then I realised I don't know enough about modern music. Its so bland I've pretty much given up listening to new stuff!

Anyway, it all started back in the early 80's. The first band that I believed merited buying their album, was Big Country. The year was 1983, the album was "The Crossing", and as with most of the albums I've ever bought, I'll still say that's a damn fine album. From Big Country I got into Marillion and then U2. "The Unforgettable Fire" was and still is truly magnificent, and although I preferred "The Joshua Tree", I hated most of what they did after that, and thinking back "The Unforgettable Fire" is a far more honest album anyway.

I think a lot changed for me musically around 1987. I was unexpectedly exposed to the commercial face of Heavy Metal, by which I mean 2 particular tracks which had a profound influence on me. They were, Iron Maiden's "Can I Play With Madness" and AC/DC's "Heatseeker". Shortly afterwards I had long hair (more bushy really), a leather jacket and skin tight jeans with the kness ripped open. My volte-face in musical tastes also permitted me to make some great friends, who although I've lost touch with most, I'll never forget them!

I think that after that, I mostly plundered the Heavy Metal archives, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin and the likes. Couldn't believe I hadn't heard Led Zeppelin before, I realised I'd missed something there, but I'd been too young anyway. The next change in musical tastes came with the arrival of Grunge around 1990, but on that front I was an early adopter. I had Nirvana and Soundgarden albums long before most Brits had heard of them. I also took to Alice In Chains and Pearl Jam, before they were popular also, but bizarrely as those bands did become popular, I became bored with them.

I got married in 1993 and with my son born in 94, I didn't have much time to notice anything musically then, even though I watched MTV2 regularly. The only track which got my attention, on seeing the now iconic video, was "Creep" by Radiohead. I filed that one away as a band to keep an eye on. I wan't wrong. When "The Bends" came out, it was just one huge track after another. I knew that I'd found a new favourite. And, Radiohead have been my favourite band ever since then. I still listen to other stuff, I quite like Sigur Ros and I get the LZ out now and again too. However, I don't like the music that's dominating at the moment, it does absolutely nothing for me. It will take something exraordinary to rouse this beast from his musical dormancy!

Power Corrupts So Free Power Not Permitted!

I'm sure that you, just like me realise that our governments have absolutley no interest in what's good for us. It seems that they're no longer even concerned with what's good for our country. The only thing that they care about is what's beneficial to themselves as individuals. What's in it for them? That's why we see Bush and Putin and others scrambling for the World's natural resources. Do you think the war in Iraq is about anything other than oil? Well perhaps it's also about arms. The Bush family shares heavily in businesses that deal in both. Surely that's a conflict of interests. Putin has his own massive personal oil and gas interests and is actively securing those interests in a fairly agressive manner.

It's not to difficult to envision the two superpowers along with other emerging superpowers eventually coming to loggerheads over the acquisition of these abundant resources. I read yesterday that in response to the Russians planting a flag on the seabed below the North Pole, the Canadians are building some new stations and military training facilities close to the Pole. In other words they are going to plant a military presence in the area to assert their right over it. Can't see Putin taking it lying down.

But the real point I want to make here is that we don't even need those resources. There are several ways in which we can generate free green energy. So why aren't we aware of them and using them? Well, who would profit from that? Oil, Gas, Electric and Petrol generate massive amounts of cash. Which government in the World would give that up for the benefit of their people? Which businessmen would permit their government to do so? None of them is the answer! The most hilarious part is when they claim that we should pay more taxes to combat climate change, which they are inevitably responsible for allowing to continue.

Bizzarely, I've seen several devices on the Internet, which could save the planet, but they always just disappear. From cars running on water (mnay individuals have succeeded in achieving this, many also died mysteriously), to houses powered simply using sunlight and rain-water, with a device costing only £200. Your utility companies would never allow that! Also, a motor using powerful electro-magnets is easily made and once set in motion achieves perpetual motion. Many of these have been built cheaply and proven effective. They would work both in your car and for household power. Don't expect to see it on the market too soon though. Not until we've had a World War over natural resources. It'll end in tears, that's for sure!

We Are Finding Who We Are!

I see the great debate on the origins of modern man are once again raging fiercely. The proponents of the "Out Of Africa" theory have a new enemy, the "Out Of Asia" party. Of course the latter have been undermined by the former through the former declaring that an Asiatic origin might simply have been a stopover en route from Africa.

At the same time the analysis of many newly discovered skull samples, seems to be indicating that the origins of the human species was in fact far from linear, as had previously been thought, with species diverging and converging like the branches of a tree, or more like a family tree to be precise, which it is really! A giant family tree all the way back to whatever it was that we spawned from, if indeed that was what happened.

I think there are great discoveries to be made regarding human origins, but even greater discoveries concerning how human kind has got to be where it is right now. Unfortunately, there's just has much chance we'll self-destruct before we find those answers. It seems distinctly odd to me that it's always the baser levels of society who call the shots and who hold power. Truly intelligent people have no interest in warring or religion, the source of all intolerance. But nobody seems to want to hear ideas which promote the interests of the future of humanity.

Scotland's Got Talent

Our new First Minister Alex Salmond has been relatively quiet, until this week at least, when he chose to make an issue of the fact that Scotland should have its own news rather than a London based broadcast with mainly Engish news topics. I can see his point, but I only watch for the international news rather than UK news and I think that Reporting Scotland or North Tonight cover local news quite well, in as far as it's usually fairly pedestrian anyway!

I suspect however, that the main issue at stake here has nothing to do with the news. Salmond enlarged on the topic by expressing dissatisfaction with the number of shows made in Scotland, being commissioned by the BBC. He indicated that he felt the BBC were London biased and had claimed that Scotland didn't have the necessary talent. Perhaps he has a point and anyone can see that most programmes filmed in Scotland over recent years hardly reflect Scotland. Monarch of the Glen for instance was a thinly veiled Englishman's stereotypical Scotland, while Take the High Road ( later High Road) portrayed the parochial cliched Shepherd and Gamekeeper type Scotsman, more akin to the 19th century. More recently we've had River City, which I can't even bear to watch, it's so bad, is Glasgow really like that? I'd like to think not!

Getting to the point, what I really think this is aiming at is the need to have a film studio in Scotland. The main proponent for a film studio in Scotland, has been for a long time, Sir Sean Connery. Sean Connery has also been a firm backer of the SNP for many years and he and Alex Salmond have been friends for a long time. Salmond in fact threw a party for Connery at his Bute House residence in June. There's no way on Earth that Salmond won't try to push the idea of a film studio in Scotland, for his good friend Connery. I certainly think we should have one, but there is of course one obstacle that Salmond will have to deal with, which is why I think he opened up the debate in the way he did. Tough laws and fees required for permission to film in Scotland are keeping production companies (especially smaller ones) away. If a film studio is to go ahead Salmond will have to push for a substantial relaxation in those areas. That will be his toughest challenge! If he succeeds, the advantages to the Scots economy could be huge!

The Banking Clan Attempt To Control Universe!

Sensational headline, but mark my words, "Today's Science Fiction is tomorrow's reality!" Ha, what tosh, I hear you retort. Well no, actually. Take a look at what's going on around you and you'll see what I mean. Let me try and make it plain for you.

This morning marked my annual visit to the bank, to "update my record"! By now I've become quite accustomed to the format, they pretend that the meeting is for my benefit, then try and sell me on Life Assurance, Car Insurance, Pensions etc. Nothing too sinister in that eh? Oh, but there is! What is sinister is the increasing manner in which the bank presumes that we're in some way beholden to them. At one time banks provided a friendly and non-threatening service. Now, they're all menace and power-mad. You can sense it in their letters and you can sense it even better face to face.

The unfolding scenario as I see it is thus; The banks want to charge you a monthly fee just for having an account, you should be grateful that they have gifted you this gracious favour. On top of that they're planning charging you a fee for every direct debit, for every cash withdrawal, for evrey card transaction. You're looking at, at least £300 fees a year, possibly way more depending on how many transactions you make. They can do this because you need them. All wages are now paid by BACS, into your bank account and many services such as utilities will only accept direct debit payments. You need an account and the bank knows it, they've got you by the balls!

Unfortunately, the future of banking looks even bleaker for Joe Public. A smart person would tell you (I will tell you!) that our government are desperate to move towards a cashless society and believe me, that is not going to benefit you, but your bank will be rubbing their hands in glee at the prospect of such an event. Firstly, your life will then belong to your bank! They will be able to break you instantly, possibly even just for disrespecting them. They would simply freeze your account and your life would become instantly unbearable (anyone seen Enemy Of the State). Secondly, all the banks will work in cahoots to make sure that they can squeeze oodles of cash out of everyone, in transaction fees. Thirdly, you won't be able to sell things yourself unless you have a card reader, because all transactions will be recorded. Got some cash you don't want anyone to know about, not anymore you won't!

So now you can see how the Banking Clan became so powerful in the Star Wars films, cashless society = evil bankers. I hope you get this, it's definitely where we're heading!

The Revenge of the GDub!

You may recall that only last week the evil KDub chose the opportune setting of Cullen Golf Course as the ideal location to humiliate his honourable father, GDub the modest. Well, this morning he thought that the sunny weather would provide another suitable opportunity, but this time on his home turf at Buckpool Golf Course, where victory would surely be guaranteed. But he was wrong to think that his father was old and feeble, for GDub was ready to do battle and this time there could be only one winner!

In a situation very much similar to that in which King Arthur and Mordred found themselves, except with metal sticks and little white balls, as opposed to Broadswords and Chainmail, we set off on what might prove to be the final battle of the year. Because, I start at Uni in 2 weeks and it's £20 a pop for a round. We both started off terribly, but then I began to settle into my game and the evil KDub couldn't take the heat. His game went to shit on the Par 3 8th Hole where he carded an eleven, and after that he had little chance of overthrowing his father GDub the Impressive.

No pars for me this time, but a few opportunities which caught the rim of the hole, and although I took 5 strokes more than at Cullen, it must be pointed out that Buckpool is 1500 yards longer than Cullen at 6097 and 4597 yards respectively. Still, a 15 stroke victory and KDub was left to lick his wounds. I don't doubt he'll be back, but for now I can bask in my glorious conquest!

How To Fake History Pt.1!

The image above depicts Thoth, the Egyptian God of Wisdom although his status as a God has been questioned, as egyptologists in the 19th century were at loggerhead over whether all Egyptian Gods were revered separately or whether they merely represented aspects of a single deity, Ra! In the latter respect Thoth was Ra's representative on Earth so to speak, and a mouthpiece for the will of Ra to be communicated to the Egyptian people.

In previous posts I alluded to the posibility that the Egyptian pantheon may have had some basis on reality, and how quick egyptologists were to accept the parts of Egyptian historical records which could be proven while being as quick to refute the parts that might seem mythological, because to suggest that they were open to such concepts would be career suicide.

However, it should be clearly noted that the history of egyptoplogy is littered with theft, fakes, double dealings and worst of all plain lying about Egyptian ancient history. By far the worst culprit must have been Colonel Howard Vyse, who's desperate and expensive search for treasure in the Great Pyramid appeared to come to nought. His final resort was to blast his waty through the relief chambers above the King's chamber. On reaching the final chamber he entered alone at night and on re-appearing the next day, reported that he had made a great discovery.

What had he found? The only written text in the Great Pyramid. Apparently some workman had had the foresight to write the cartouches of Khufu (Cheops) and his co-regent and brother Khafra on a ceiling block. This was fortunate proof that the pharaoh Khufu thought to have been behind the building of the Great pyramid, was indeed responsible and this has been accepted as truth ever since. One problem! The hieroglyphics in the cartouche would have disgraced a child and were clearly faked by Vyse during his night-time vigil in the chamber. The hieroglyphics were often inverted and since the knowledge of hieroglyphics was still relatively infant at that time, it was later seen that those used came from several different dynastic periods. The books on hieroglyphics available in Vyse's time however didn't demonstrate this as it was only to be discovered later.

A stelae discovered between the paws of the Sphinx has been used as evidence that Khafre built the Sphinx, when it indicates nothing of the sort. It merely commemorates his tidying it up, probably clearing away of sand and some minor repair work. However the entire dating of the Giza plateau and all of it's ancient wonders is based on these two written discoveries. Neither of which is actually relevant. Clearly the people who created the Sphinx and built the Great pyramid either did not possess the skill of writing or were not permitted to employ it there. This would indicate to me, and to other very notable people, that the constructions there are much older than what we've been told they are. One day the truth will out!