Lest We Ever Forget!

Remembrance Sunday again! I suppose the main thing to consider today is that somewhere (probably dry and dusty) young men are still giving their lives needlessly. I know that it's a day which is supposed to represent the loss of men and indeed women in all conflicts, but in my own mind, I just can't see past the First World War!

I have an attachment to it in many ways because my paternal Great Grandfather (who actually raised my father) was at Flanders, and took part in that last Great Cavalry Charge at Ypes, ordered by none other than Douglas Haig. My Gt Grandfather charged the German machine-guns on horseback, armed with (wait for it), a lance. Yes, you read right, he was armed with a lance. How he survived we'll never know, because he never told the tale. His reward for serving his country, well like most other sevicemen, I believe he found that there was no hero's welcome. He was never able to retain the position he had beforehand, and ended up doing labouring work.

This is my beef with the Earl Haig fund, the poppies they sell in the memory of fallen soldiers. The fact that Earl Haig was responsible for so many of their deaths. The phrase "Lions led by donkeys" was never more apt that when applied to him. Perhaps if he had gotten the opportunity to redeem himself like Monty did (you want to know what Monty did before he led the Desert Rats, then do some research yourself. It should be easy enough), then my image of him would be somewhat different, but I just can't abide the man's name being associated with the First World War in a charitable way, as though he never had all that blood on his hands.

The Agony and the Egg-city!

Don't ask me how, and definitely don't as me why, but somebody spent a great deal of time and effort constructing this entire miniature city from eggs. I could do a little research and give you some hard facts and figure about this, but sometimes things are just better left unexplained. For instance, I see from the pictures that the eggs are stacked on top of each other, which must have required a ridiculous amount of patience and skill. Also, what's going on with the flooring in this building? It looks awful.


You really would have to be walking on egg-shells at this exhibition wouldn't you? Not literally though, as you'd probably be thrown out, and the guards would smash your albumen-like teeth in. There would be yoke running down the street. They'd make you eat your own intestines like a battery-fed hen. Alright, maybe that's going a bit too far with the egg jokes, but I couldn't resist. I'm sure you understand!

The Wheel Broken At the Cistern!

Am I not good to you. I, being not a religious man, but being fairly well aware what constitutes a piece of good writing and what doesn't, bring to you this chapter from the Bible. That's not for me you might say, but wait. If the whole good book is a waste of paper, then this one chapter is definitely a keeper. I'll let you read it first, and even though you might know of it already, I'm doubtful whether you truly understand what it's about. That's because it's allegory, and it was crafted by a master wordsmith!

Ecclesiastes
OR, THE PREACHER - 12

1 Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them;

2 while the sun, or the light, or the moon, or the stars, be not darkened, nor the clouds return after the rain:

3 in the day when the keepers of the house shall tremble, and the strong men shall bow themselves, and the grinders cease because they are few, and those that look out of the windows be darkened,

4 and the doors shall be shut in the streets, when the sound of the grinding is low, and he shall rise up at the voice of the bird, and all the daughters of music shall be brought low;

5 also when they shall be afraid of that which is high, and fears shall be in the way, and the almond tree shall flourish, and the grasshopper shall be a burden, and desire shall fail: because man goeth to his long home, and the mourners go about the streets:

6 or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern.

7 Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.

Now I'm trying to recall this from memory, as I can't locate a clearer explanation on the Net than the one that was give to me many years ago. The whole passage is an allegory on the failings of old age. Let me just point out these thoughts to you, then read it through again, you'll see what I mean:

• For keepers of the house, think "arms"
• The strong men shall bow themselves, think of "legs and back"
• For grinders, think "teeth"
• For windows, substitute "eyes"
• Doors shut in the streets - "hearing"
• Sound of the grinding is low - "the voice"
• For golden bowl, "the skull"
• The pitcher, "blood"
• The wheel at the cistern, "the heart"
• Man's long home is "the grave"

I might have erred on some of these points, but the allegory of death is so powerful, you can see why the Freemasons place such value on this passage. When you think how long ago this must have been written, whoever wrote it and whatever their message, it is indeed a wonderfully written allegorical piece.

A Banana Boat To Britain!

Well, I've heard about this sort of thing before, but this is the first time I've seen conclusive photographic evidence. What happens is this : Money changes hands and the bananas are loaded onto a ship destined to take them to a new life in Europe. More than likely they want to go to the UK. Things get confused during the dangerous sea crossing and the handlers begin to get fed up with the constant demands coming from the bananas. Before they know where they're at, the bananas are tossed over the side, and wash up dead on the seashore.

It's a terrible story, but these things really happen everyday. The dream of a better life shattered suddenly at the hands of unscupulous individuals. These people shouldn't be able to get away with it. Look how many innocent bananas perished in this particular instance, and it didn't even make mainstream news. It' s almost as though nobody cares. They just turn a blind eye to the problem and hope it'll go away. Well it won't go away. What will it take before people sit up and notice?

Maybe it's just beacause people lack respect for bananas, they see them as some sort of Third World fruit. If it was Kiwi fruit it would be a different story, since the Kiwis come from a Commonwealth country. The loss of thousands of Kiwis in one go, and these fruit smuggling gangs would be shutdown overnight, there's nothing more certain. It's time someone stood up to this shameful fruit prejudice and put a stop to the illegal banana trafficking!

The Bonfire Of the Nanny State!

Well, I completely missed Bonfire night this year, given what I've gotten myself into. I did spot the odd firework, but I just wasn't feeling it I'm afraid. It's a shame really, because it's only a matter of time before the Local Authorities start preventing people from having them altogether. You know, Health and Safety, the strain it places on the fire service. All that nonsense! The World's going to hell in a handcart, at least that would be the case if handcarts still existed hereabouts. Those would be a health hazard, anywhere outside of South East Asia.

Do people still burn a guy on the bonfire? Do they even realise what it signifies? The fact that he represents the man who had the greatest and most audacious idea for a plot ever, in the history of the World, except that it was a set up. To think that they were going to get rid of the royals, the politicians and the church leaders in one fell swoop. Now that's a masterplan that even a Bond villain would think twice about undertaking.

It's all a moot point really, as Fawkes was not burned at the stake, but was sentenced to be hung, drawn and quartered. Fawkes even managed to escape the worst of it, by jumping from the scaffold and snapping his neck. The drawing bit was barbaric in the extreme and that's a fact. A wise man to avoid giving that sadistic pleasure to his captors!

The Two Towers!

Can you believe it? This church steeple from the village of Suurhusen in Northern Germany, has only gone and knocked the Leaning Tower of Pisa off it's slot as the most leaning building in the World. Now officially recognised by the Guniness Book of Records, the steeple which was added to the main building in 1450 is the new record holder. Owing to the use of wooden foundations the steeple has progressively leaned since building, although it has been stable since 1996 apparently. It is leaning considerably more than the Pisan tower, as you can plainly see from the photo!

I'm a bit miffed, because one of my very few claims to fame is the fact that I've been up to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I'm well aware that for quite a while, people weren't allowed up the tower, because of safety concerns. I'm damn sure I'm not going to Germany to go up some church steeple, but it has got me thinking, just how many people will travel there from far and wide, just so they can claim they've been up it? They'd better start making the models right now!

Like I told you a few days back, I'm only 2 days into the teaching experience and already I'm finding it difficult to think about anything other than lesson plans and what I should be saying to them during the direct teaching component of the lesson. I woke up at 6 this morning and that was me. Once my brain starts ticking, it just won't stop again till night. More teaching stuff to follow, I'm sure. I'll try not to, but it could be difficult!

I Made It Back Alive!

I'd never stood in front of 20 kids before and talked to them about computing, but I have now. It's started, but there's a long way to go. I won't say I wasn't nervous, of course I was, but I didn't let them see it, apparently if they smell fear, they'll tear you limb from limb. Still, I've survived, even though I was pretty much thrown straight into it. That's probably the best way. The teacher even left the class, almost straight away, and somehow I got through it unscathed.

I'm not saying it went perfectly, because it didn't. Some of the pupils were talking and I had a job getting them to quieten down. I also need to use my voice to much greater effect in future, that much I sussed out for myself. I've got a load more lessons lined up anyhow. Things are really going to start piling up on me very quickly over the next few weeks, that's for sure.

Good TV last night, with Top Gear once again showing us how easily the BBC can spend our money, dragging the team out to Botswana to race 3 second-hand cars across the country, through a massive salt-pan, which no-one has been stupid enpugh to cross before, then at break-neck speed through a game reserve. All quite ridiculous and clearly costing a king's ransom, but never the less, compelling viewing. Some people hate it, they told me so. That's their God-given right I suppose. Me, I like it!

Sunburn Of A Cluttered Mind!

I finally had the opportunity yesterday to watch the film "Sunshine", which given my recent lamenting over the demise of Sci-fi in general, was most welcome viewing. Although I'm well aware that the film probably borrowed heavily from several other Sci-fi films I've seen (I'm thinking; Space Odyssey: 2001, Event Horizon, Alien, Solaris etc.), I have a sneaking suspicion that it was more of a homage to those films rather than outright copying. Anyhow, I had seen mixed reviews, but the trailer looked really good, so I can inform you that the film was definitely worth the watching, with a good blend of action and suspense.

So, tomorrow is a big day for me. My first day teaching, although I'm not sure just how much teaching I'll get to do, but after this it's going to ramp up sharply too 13.5 hours per week, by the fourth week. What I'm trying to tell you is that I might not have much time to post here over the next four weeks, ot at least not to the standard you might have come to expect. Well, I'll do my best, but I have voluminous amounts of paperwork to prepare, so just be warned. It's quite annoying really, because I like to put a little bit of thought into my posts, but I'll have nothing but teaching in my head for the forseeable future. Perhaps some ideas will spill out from the classroom, let's wait and see!

A Picture Tells A 1000 Words!

Yes, it's true, my generosity knows no bounds, in seeking out for you, such images as I hope will provide you with a great deal of pleasure in beholding! For, yes it's as they say "Seeing is believing", and the following images have a common theme, there must have been a rather interesting build-up to the event. The nature of that build-up is left to your imagination... enjoy!

Oh, and about that Dragonfruit thing, it did taste a little bit like Kiwi fruit, only decidedly more watery and without the sweetness. In fact it was rather bland. You wouldn't want to eat a whole one, or indeed find yourself in a situation where your very survivial relied on consuming an abundance of them. Still, to put it into context, Ive tasted worse! And, so have you!

Enter the Dragonfruit!

Feeling rather spontaneous this morning, and having spotted this bizarre looking creature (see photo) in the fruit & veg aisle of Asda's, I went ahead and bought myself a pair of the strange looking Dragonfruit things. You should realise if you're reading this and wondering why I haven't had any before, just let me point out that these are alien to Scotland, I've never seen them before, and the price reflected that! I wouldn't have bothered if I hadn't read a small note at the side which claimed they were similar to Kiwi fruit in taste. That claim will shortly be put to the test and I'll let you know the results tomorrow. Suffice to say, the images I've seen of the inside cause me to doubt the veracity of the Kiwi claim.

Also this morning, we managed to pick up a few early Chrismas presents, mainly toys for nieces and nephews, God knows what our kids will be getting. Unfortunately, my daughter also informed me at lunchtime, that while looking for batteries, she found a receipt from Toys R'Us with all her Christmas presents from last year on it. She's a smart cookie, so as of now, Santa is officially dead in this house, I'm afraid. Ah well, he had a good run.

Anyway, at this rate, Labour will have Christmas abolished in this country. They've had a think-tank spewing out nonsense such as:

• Let's call it Winterval instead of Christmas
• Put Holiday Greetings instead of Best Wishes on your Christmas cards
• Let's celebrate the holidays of other religions than Christinanity, with just as much relish

All of this is aimed at making the soaring numbers of immigrants feel more welcome when they get here. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against immigrants, but there has to be a limit. Besides which, surely preaching tolerance and integration should be directed at them. not at us, we're not the ones starting a new life abroad. And if the roles were reversed, we wouldn't expect them to change for us. That would be ridiculous. Anyway, I've never heard of any immigrant coming to this countrty and complaining about Christmas, they're not bothered in the slightest. But, these people who clearly know nothing about foreign cultures, deem it in everyone's best interest, for us to change our whole way of life to suit. It just ain't gonna happen! I embrace foreign culture, they've got as lot to offer, but what's so wrong with our own culture, that we should change?