Phoenix Rising.... No, Falling!

Yesterday afternoon I took the family up to Moray Playhouse to watch Harry Potter and the Order Of the Phoenix. I was certain that this time it would be semi-worthwhile viewing, given that the previous films were severely disappointing and tended to follow the same plot each time, ie: Harry has a run in with his relatives, Harry goes to Hogwarts, wanders around a bit, there are some new teachers, Hagrid takes the kids into the woods to show them something. Then, they break for Christmas, Harry gets fed up, then its back to Hogwarts again, Voldemort appears, Harry accidentally saves the day, and its back on the Hogwarts Express!

So, how did the new film compare. Well this is a quick rundown on the plot:

Harry has a run in with his relatives, Harry goes to Hogwarts, wanders around a bit, there are some new teachers, Hagrid takes the kids into the woods to show them something. Then, they break for Christmas, Harry gets fed up, then its back to Hogwarts again, Voldemort appears, Harry accidentally saves the day, and its back on the Hogwarts Express!

Does that seem slighly familiar? Don't get to excited if you're a fan, because at least with the previous films there was a vague sense of direction. With this one, there was a complete lack of structure, the whole film seem disjointed and it just left me empty. Promotional trailers led me to believe that there would be massive battles, but in reality there was only a rather brief skirmish in which it wasn't at all clear what was happening, only Sirius Black seemed to die, except I don't think he did!

Would I recommend this film? Absolutley not! It clearly demonstrates just how poor film-making is today. I really think the proper art of film-making died in the early 80's. I can't say exactly where they're going wrong, but I suspect that aiming to squash a 900 page book into just over 2 hours screentime, means cutting out crucial plot elements, which is clearly the case with this film. I noticed the same thing with "The Two Towers" when it came out. It just seemed hurried, like they were trying to fit in too much, which they were! Not like the days of films such as Lawrence Of Arabia and Doctor Zhivago. The long drawn out dramatic scene would be a welcome relief nowadays. Even Spielberg with the Indiana Jones films, knew how to structure his films so the plotline was as clear as day. It's time Directors looked back at how it used to be done!

Top 10 Ways To Kiss Mankind Goodbye!

The slightly delayed, but highly anticipated follow-up to the Illuminati wanting to depopulate the World, post. This expands on the possible ways in which human life could be completely extinguished, but should clearly be taken with a pinch of salt, because to my knowledge, none of these are actually imminent!

In order of likelihood, but varying between possible and highly unlikely:

Top 10 ways to end all humankind

1. Pandemic
A lethal virus (man-made?) sweeps the globe destroying all of humanity. Scientists work around the clock to find a vaccine, but the virus is too complex and constantly mutates, it is also resistant to all antibiotics. The victims suffer excruciating deaths, while politicians and wealthy businessmen hide in bunkers to protect themselves, only to find they are already carrying the virus because it's that contagious and lies dormant for several days before demonstrating it's deadly capabilities.

2. Nuclear Holocaust
The Super Powers become caught up in some petty squabble which quickly escalates towards armed conflict. Nuclear strikes are launched in order to effect a rapid conclusion. Retalliatory strikes are also launched and major cities across the globe are reduced to rubble. This does not kill too many, however the radioactive fallout from the explosions will last for several years, poisoning all water supplies, livestock and vegetation. There is nothing to eat or drink and disease is rife. Billions die horribly, but maybe somewhere, some people can make it through!

3. Worlds In Collision
Velikovsky's theories about the frequency of inter-planetary collisions demonstrates itself to be true, to startling effect. A massive comet impacts the Earth at incredible speed. It probably impacts in an ocean, but no matter, the shockwave kills everyone, or if there are any survivors, the 3 year long nuclear winter that follows will finish them.

4. Pole Shift
Every so often we have a reversal in the poles of the planet. North becomes South and vice versa. The effects of this become clear when suddenly it becomes impossible to go outside without your skin turning black fom the lethal rays of the Sun entering the atmosphere. Life inside becomes difficult too and everyone dies, maybe the pole-shift is a bad thing after all.

5. Sun Dies
Suddenly and with little warning the Sun simply expires, burnt out. It gets very cold, very quickly. Not even the cockroaches will survive!

6. Earth sucked into a Black Hole
Oops where did that come from? The scientists never saw it because it was black and space is also black, black on black you see! Without warning every person on Earth sudeenly becomes 50 miles tall and 3mms wide. Don't worry, you won't even feel it!

7. Alien Invasion
Aliens arrive uninvited and start wiping us out because we're an embarassment to intelligent beings everywhere, or alternatively they show up all friendly like the ones in "V" and start shipping us back to their homeworld where their reptilian kinsman can devour us at their leisure, because human flesh is just so damn yummy!

8. Massive Sea-level rise
All the predictions on climate change go out the window as the ice-caps melt instantaneously (a particularly hot summer). The sea-level rises, a lot, and tsunamis obliterate everything. Maybe a couple goat-herds will survive, but without any mates and with just a few goats to eat, their time will also be relatively short.

9. Fabric of Space-Time Continuum torn asunder
Some "boffins" discover the means by which to travel back in time, which they then proceed to do, travelling back millions of years into the past. Unfortunately, one of them decides to pick a flower (a specimen to take back to the lab) and inadvetently kills a newt-like creature, which unfortunately is the sole-ancestor of all mankind. This creates a paradox and it becomes as though we had never been!

10. An act of God
God's had enough! He's not even bothered about saving the animals this time, we've already wiped out millions of species and would eventually finish off the remaining species. Think Sodom and Gomorrah, but on a Global scale.

Lottery Swindle!

For today's post I was planning to write a follow up to yesterday's post on the Illuminati plot to depopulate the planet, by expanding on the possible ways by which human life might cease to exist. Unfortunately, I will have to put this on the back-burner until tomorrow, because last night something inadvertently came to my attention, which I believe needs to be expounded upon herein.

I was washing the dishes (yes, I'm a 21st Century man) and the T.V. was on, although nobody was watching it as far as I'm aware. So, although I couldn't see the telly, I could hear it. The Lottery show was on, something which I would normally avoid like the plague, because it's so cheesy and... it's just awful really! Anyway, it's going on and I catch the presenter saying something very much like;

"Remember, all your money going to the good cause fund will be paying for the Olympic and Paralympic games!"

And, I'm thinking to myself "Did I just hear him correctly?" because he said "all your money". I know the Olympics are going to cost a fortune, but surely the Government should be paying for it. Well, it's obvious really, I'd already heard that the government was using lottery funds to pay for government sponsored projects under the guise of being "good causes", but this takes the biscuit! Firstly, all the good cause money is being channeled into London, when it's supposed to be distributed across the UK, and secondly it's now even more transparent why Richard Branson's Virgin company were turned down the opportunity of running the lottery.

Branson offered to run it for free with even more money going to good causes, but clearly such enterprises are only intended to operate as some sort of gigantic money laundering scam. There's no point coming up with an idea where the public are eager to pour in their cash for virtually no return, if you can't abuse it completely.

A second thing that was said on the show, once again made my thinking travel off on a tangent. The host said;

"I know it's going to be a busy night, but can you give me a time-check please?"

A omnipresent being responds;

"Yes, the time is almost 11 minutes past..." whatever, 8 I think he said.

I thought to myself "Why would they do that? Do they feel the need to demonstrate that the show is live, because in reality it isn't?" It just seemed like such a bizarre thing to do. Surely, if the show is in fact live, they wouldn't feel the need to prove it. Highly suspicious, I'm being to think the whole thing is run by mobsters!

Depopulation To Order!

Caught a little news tidbit this morning about how the Illuminati want to embark upon a program of depopulation (the resurgence of an old idea apparently). Not mainstream news obviously, who looks there anymore. If you want to know what's really going on then you have to Digg for it! However, do the Illuminati really exist, or is it just a term that's bandied around to describe the elite businessmen who really rule the World?

The real questions that need to be asked though, if you are to accept the statement given at face value, are:

• Why depopulate the World?
• Who lives, who dies?
• How seriously are they about depopulating the World? ... and
• What means do they have at their disposal to see through their dastardly plans?

Clearly there are several possible reasons for wanting to see a dramatic reduction in the global population; reducing carbon emissions dramatically, limiting or ceasing the spread of certain diseases, managing food and water stocks more efficiently, but possibly they are motivated by more wicked sentiments, such as racial superiority, intellectual superiority or desire for power and wealth. We all know which reasons are most likely!

It's true that the World's population is constantly increasing and is greater than ever before. In the past War and disease have curbed poulation rise, but now medicine and the nuclear deterrent held by the most powerful nations, have significantly reduced the possibility of either factor coming heavily into play.

So, how could a dramatic depopulation program be unleashed. Well, in all likelihood you wouldn't really know it was orchestrated anyway. The 2 factors I have identified as responsible for depopulation are the primary tools which could be used by evil powermongers to effect it. They could for instance instigate an incident which would draw the super-powers into armed conflict and the possibilty of nuclear strikes. Alternatively, they could unleash a deadly virus, creating a pandemic unlike any ever seen before. This is probably the most likely scenario, as it would be quite easy to make it seem like a natural catastrophe. For instance, if Avian Flu were to mutate to form a human strain, who would think that suspicious? Haven't they been warning us about just such a possibility?

There are some massive pharmecutical companies out there, who could potentially initiate a viral epidemic, with vaccines already in place. Let the epidemic take hold, then reveal that a vaccine is available, but expensive. Sell vaccinations to those who can afford them. Accumulate futher wealth and power, everyone will be so grateful, and who will care about all the poor people who died because they couldn't afford the vaccine. I know I'm sounding positively apocalyptic here and it's not in my nature to see the pessimistic side to anything, but I think I've demonstrated here how easy it would be, and rest assured there are innumerable people out there who would love to see it happen!

False Terror Flags!

You can't help wondering recently why the press and media in general are so ineffective in posing questions which must surely seem in need of answering, certainly from a public standpoint anyhow. Of course, since I was going on holiday, the attack at Glasgow airport definitely warranted cause for concern, but at the same time it occured to me that several things didn't add up. For instance, why were the main doors to the building accesible from the roadway in the first place? Even shopping centres and other buildings of relatively little importance have steel bollards to prevent access to vehicles. Surely they could have seen the potential was there, the attackers did!

Anyway, that's the least disturbing part. When the incident was reported initially, the news stated that US secret services had warned of a possible attack at Glasgow airport 2 weeks previously. Who did they warn exactly? Was it the UK government or UK secret services? Because, airport officials claimed that they certainly weren't told about it! Makes you wonder doesn't it? Nothing better than a terrorist attack to start off the holiday season and a new arrival in office at No.10. Indeed, even with the recent flooding and government failures in handling them, the papers today indicate that Labour have opened up a 8% lead on the Tories. Remarkable!

More Tales From the Veneto!

I may have to retract my previous statement that 50% of Lido de Jesolo was made up of Germans. As my father rightly pointed out, they were probably largely Austrian, especially given the close proximity of Austria to that area of Italy in particular. My father actually went a little further, suggesting that (in his experience) Austrians don't like being identified as Germans, in much the same way as a Scotsman wouldn't want to be identified as English.

Perhaps the strangest thing I saw on holiday, was young kids (say about 4 or 5 yers old) talking to their parents in German. It just doesn't seem natural, such a harsh sounding language being spoken by children. I found it very weird, but that's just a personal opinion, perhaps they would think the same about us.

Anyhow, the picture above is one I took of the entrance to the Gasoline Road Bar in Lido de Jesolo, at the Piazza Mazzini. Clearly a pair of hard-living peanuts! Oh, by the way, some odd stuff! We met with our holiday rep the day after arriving and were informed of the following necessary facts for holiday survival:

• Crossings on Italian roads are merely for show, although sometimes cars will stop, but rarely.
• Speed limits on Italian roads have no significance, they drive at whatever speed they feel like.
• Sudanese guys were selling fake designer handbags on the beach, getting caught handing over money for one could earn you a 1000 Euro fine.
• Littering could earn you a 500 Euro fine.
• Italians all carry ID cards (for security reasons?) and you could be asked to provide ID at anytime.

These were all valid points, and apart from the handbag statement which I wasn't going to try out, I saw all the others clearly demonstrated. They drive like maniacs, and if they see you on the crossing, they actually speed up so as to make you run for it. Like wise I frequently saw speeds of probably 70mph and upwards on a 30mph road. I was also aked for ID several times (completely unnecessarily in my opinion) such as when I changed some currency, and when I asked for a locker at Aqualandia, wtf?

Holiday Snaps!

Here are some photos I took while in Italy... hope you like them!

Venice - Bridge of Sighs

Venice - Somewhere off the beaten path

Cortina - From the top of Mount Faloria

Cortina - Street in Cortina

Verona - The Arena


Verona - Juliet's Balcony

That's all for now!

Holiday Report!

Here is the full holiday report from my exciting adventures in the Italian Veneto and beyond:

Lido di Jesolo

We were staying at the seaside resort of Lido de Jesolo on the Ventian Riviera. About 20km from Venice, with a 15km long golden beach and with temperatures in the 33-35*C region the first week and more like 35-37*C the second week. You can of course imagine my disappointment on returning home to find out that it has been raining almost constantly for the duration of our absence.

The resort itself was very busy, with I'm guessing about 50% German tourists, about 40% local Italians and the rest, pretty much a cross section of Europe and beyond.

Of course though, beaches aren't really my thing, more of a last resort for when there's nothing else to do, so we booked ourselves day trips to Venice, Cortina, Verona and Lake Garda shortly after arriving. I was particularly looking forward to Venice and it didn't disappoint.

Venice

We travelled into Venice by boat from Punta Sabbioni (about 50 mins). Spectacular views of the islands on the way. It was also hot, very hot! We disembarked near the Bridge of Sighs and then arrived in the Piazza di San Marco. A beautiful square with a smaller square off to one corner, but it was very crowded as you'd expect. We went for a little wander for 2 hours down some off the narrow lanes, then had a guided tour (including a quick scoot around the Basilica), followed by the highlight of the entire holiday, the water taxi cruise down the Grand Canal. It was absolutely amazing and "I got it all down on videotape". The Gondola ride was an anti-climax after the water taxi. With some time left we then took the lift up to the top of St. Mark's Tower, from where we had a great view over the whole of Venice.

Had an interesting converation afterwards with our tour guide Alessandro, after I asked him which house on the Grand Canal was the oldest, to which he replied "the Ca' Da Mosta". Anyone keeping up will recall that I mentioned before travelling, the television program "Italy, Head to Toe" fronted by Francesco Da Mosta, which I identified as part of the driving force behind my desire to visit Italy.

I would love to go back to Venice sometime and spend a week or so there just wandering around, preferably off season when it's not so warm or crowded.

Cortina

We visited the Winter resort of Cortina, once again accompanied by Alessandro, stopping along the way at Lago di San Croce (Lake of the Holy Cross). On arrival we headeh straight for the cable car which took us up Mount Faloria. Once again I videoed the experience for posterity. This was followed by a jaunt around the lovely village of Cortina and a short trip further into the Dolomites to visit Lago di Misurina (Lake Misurina). It was of course very hot again, but there was a cool breeze which made it tolerable on this occasion.

Verona

Off to Verona and with a different Tour Guide, Luigi, who like Alessandro, also spoke very good English, and was an absolute mine of information. Verona was hot, 35*C apparently, but I must have been acclimatised by then (or so I thought, see Lake Garda) because it didnt feel too bad. We walked around the outside of the Arena then went to see Juliet's balcony and statue. Yes, I know Juliet is a fictional character, but the Capulets existed and the balcony is part of the house where they once lived. We made a quick visit to the Castle and famous bridge, before heading back to the bus where I had a conversation with Luigi about Umberto Eco, The Name Of the Rose in particular and also Manfredi, as I'd just finished reading "The Tower".

Lake Garda - Sirmione

If Verona was 35*C then I have no idea what the temperature was in Sirmione, because it was killer. First we went on a boat trip around the tip of the peninsula, taking in some wonderful views including the majestic ruins of the oldest Roman villa in Northern Italy, built by the poet Valerio Catulus in the 1st Century B.C. Coincidentally, I had just finished reading Robert Harris's "Imperium" the day previously, in which the Catulus family feature. Serendipitous!

We then climbed to the top of the castle tower before exploring the little village. The heat was intense and sweat was pouring off me. I went to seek some shelter in the shade of a tree and got several mosquito bites on the back of my legs as reward. The only time I was bitten on the whole holiday.

Other

Besides the day trips we also visited several attractions in Lido de Jesolo; A wonderful sand sculpture exhibition based on the Wild West. I forgot to take my camera, but I'll look for links later. We also went to Aqualandia for a day, seemed like fun, but it was just too hot to spend the whole day in the sun. We also went to Pirate Adventure Crazy Golf where we all got burned (did I tell you how hot it was?) All in all we had an excellent time!

Resumption Of Activity!

I'm back, revitalised and ready to go. Did you miss me? Holiday report and photos to follow, once I get my car working again and get some food in the house!

Interruption To Scheduled Blogging!

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